Thursday, February 26, 2009

The chameleon post

I have been meaning to post but if I would have written earlier- it would have said something different each day. In our efforts to be on top of things we have been thinking that our little Sarah needs to meet other 8 yr old girls. So we began to think of our options... We started thinking this because at home she will at times act like a 2 yr old (copying Anna). I think she does not know how 8 yr olds act so I we visited the local Catholic school but decided against it because they did not offer special classes to fill Sarah's needs- ELL, reading specialist, etc. Then I stopped at the local public school, they were very receptive and it looked like Sarah was going to be able to be in her ELL friends class and attend 1/2 day 2nd grade. Today I found out that class is full. Sarah would be in another classroom where she does not know anybody, she speaks english but only at about 50% proficiency (that's a guess). She would show up at lunch time without a friend to connect with and she supposed to blend in? I don't think so. Plus the teacher is PG and that means a sub when she has her baby- hmmm, not sounding good again. The other issue is our sweet daughter is enamored with babies in tummies. She happens to know more than the average 8 yr old, on that subject (due to older kids at the orphanage) and she may just sit down with her teacher and discuss the babies birth... 3 strikes were out. 

HS is going great. Sarah is making steady progress! We were just thinking if we could combine the 2- that she would also benefit from the peer interaction. In preparation we told Sarah that if she went to school she would have to put on her own snowsuit, boots, mittens and jacket- the teacher does not do that... She was shocked and commented "bad teacher".  Of course they did not do that in China either but I think she likes the extra TLC.  We do not mind doing these things but we are trying to figure out at what point do you encourage the her to do age appropriate tasks?  She is incredibly capable and often does these things but sometimes I do have a 55 lbs 2 yr old.

Some friend have offered one on one playgroups with other kids around her age but I do not think she is ready. She gets uncomfortable and plays by herself (parallel play)- this is a skill she needs to learn- with time it will happen but should we be encouraging it or not rushing it?

I do have to say I have put way to much time thinking about this and not enough time praying about it. Since she is progressing so nicely I need to just be patient and prayerful.

Sarah is taking gymnastic lessons, playing soccer and taking swimming lessons. She also does ELL and speech- so she is doing enough! It is just that none of these are actual opportunities to build a friend relationship. We have not put her in our christian ed classes yet- we were planning to start in the fall. I think I may need to reread my friend Sally's post again. I am not in control- God is in control- be peaceful and trusting in the Lord (and repeat as often as necessary)!

Here are pics of the girls helping me make brownies! Yes, they are from a box!

Our niece Emily is getting married this weekend! All the kids will be home except for Mark. Katie is currently stuck in Iowa city with strep throat- she is on antibiotics and on the mend. She will head home tomorrow! We are excited to have almost everyone home and to go to the wedding!


Jill said...

You are not giving your sweet girl enough credit!! I know it is easier said than done, and I have no room to talk, but I think you should turn it over to HIM. In your first few pics, Sarah looks SO HAPPPY!! How amazing!! All goog things come in time!!
Hugs friend!!

Sally- That Girl! said...

Just trust God first and your mommy gut on what to do with Sarah. You are doing such a great job with her. You are inspiration for Robert and I to adopt a 7-8 year old next!

Lori said...

I agree that you need to just pray about it. It will thrill you to then watch God reveal ideas & opportunities.

There is also a free "class" on JTM that I listened to. They talked about how some adopted kids need to re-live their early childhood because they missed out on so much. Some of it was really far fetched I thought, but it also seemed to make a lot of sense. But you are right, you need to have wisdom on when to start making her take responsibility and act her age.


Laurel said...

Just found your blog and am excited to learn more (as you can see, I've already read about 3 weeks worth).

We brought 3 siblings home from Ghana a year ago (ages 6, 9, 12 when they came home). Many times, my husband and I felt that we had brought home 2 year old triplets. We had to teach them EVERYTHING!

We are also homeschooling, and feel that by far it is the BEST place for them, even if they don't yet have a lot of friends. They need the mommy bonding time, they need the individual instruction, they need the at-home consistency, etc... Friends will come.

Also ... our children did not know how to really play (interact) when they got home. But, a year later things are much better.

All of this ... takes TIME. It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job.

By the way ... I have 6 adult children (oldest is almost 25), with my big kids living in other states and overseas. And, I'm so glad that we didn't stop after 6 in 6 years (as all of our friends expected us to). No, I love being the mama of 7 younger kids, and can't imagine having an empty nest. The little ones will keep you young.


Laurel :)