Tuesday, February 3, 2009

New Siblings!

I read a post on a yahoo group regarding this subject and I found it a little upsetting. The birth children were embarrassed by the adopted child behavior. The children did not want their "kind of" new sibling at their school. I want to make it clear I do not want to pass judgement on this family or this topic. 

At first I felt so bad for the new child. Feeling like they should learn to tolerate their new sibs behavior- teach him how to act- teach him what is socially appropriate behavior- be easy on him and give him positive feed back when he acts appropriate. Monitor his social environment until the behavior is somewhat okay and role play on how to act in certain situations. Well all of this may be a good idea- who knows- we may be trying it in the future- I'l let you know! But you never really know another persons situation until you have lived it. We aren't living it but we have had it in small doses. Our sweet 15 yr old son is at the age where everything is embarrassing- you know, we have all been there. We grow out of it but it is something that time has to take care of. Our little Sarah will run up to Johnny when his basketball game is over and give him a big hug- he will freeze and his cheeks turn red- he is just not sure how to deal with it. Like so many things we need to prepare our kids- tell them what is okay and what would be best NOT to do. Talk to the older sib and tell him how to deal with it- empower him- it is okay if he makes it clear that his little sis needs to go back to the parents right away and he would appreciate it if she would wait until after the team meeting. Of course the parents could always watch their daughter closer and grab her before she makes a run for it BUT I would hate to blame this on the sweet, kind, loving, hardworking parents- smile!

Life is full of sooooo many lessons!


Mom Of Many said...

BEing a parent of many can be complicated, can't it? It's definitely not for the faint at heart.

That's why I always tell my kids: "here's a notebook, write down all the things you are upset with us about or think we did wrong in parenting you. Then someday when you go to a counselor you can just hand them the book and get right on it all!! =)
No need to waste unnecesary money on delving and trying to remember - that book will bring it all to mind!! LOL

Rock on sister, I'm sure you are an awesome mommy!! xo

Lori said...

What an important post Jean!! I will be heeding your advice very soon. THANKS!!