Last night I was really feeling it- my mom passed away one year ago and even though I have done very well with the loss, there is something about the anniversary that brings it all back. I remember her last conscious days where I said over and over to her how much I loved her and that she was the best mom ever and that I was going to miss her sooooo much. That day was such a blessing because she was able t0 tell me over and over again how much she loved me. Words I will never forget and I hold so dear. Of course again as I type the tears are streaming down my cheeks. Hubby and I have decided you never really get over losing a parent, the pain just dulls a bit as the years go by. It was very hard for the first 3 months, I missed her terribly and I wanted so much to share things with her- Anna's progress, our journey to Sarah, how and what the other kids were doing, our soap opera, yes, I said our soap opera! It was very helpful when I asked "Prayers that Move Mountains" to pray for me- truly I felt the sadness lift and was able to positively move forward.
Now I read sweet Linny's blog and I feel that this dear family has taken enough from the opposition. It is time saturate them in never ending prayer. They are constantly on my mind. Children are so precious- and I think of how worried they must feel, sick with worry, wanting to make it all better for their precious Autumn. She is such a beautiful girl! I love how she is unique and goes to the beat of a different drummer. Please pray for the family, for wisdom of the doctors, for healing, for God's grace and comfort.
As I was sobbing last night thoughts came in and out of my head. My Mom, Autumn, Linny, their family, a big decision we need to make soon, my mom, the orphans, the hungry, the homeless, my mom, my dad, the children on waiting child lists, and our next child who is waiting for us in China. After awhile I couldn't figure out which one I was crying more about?
After all that I was wiped out and unable to sleep so I watched the soap opera (tivo) that my Mom and I had watched together so often... in honor of her!!
Today is a new day, no more tears, just hope! Sometimes you just have to have a good cry!
What am I thankful for-
1. great parents
2. the gift of faith
3. the gift of the holy spirit
4. these adorable little girls that run around our house and the 5 big kids that we adore!
5. food and a home
6. adoption loving, family loving, Jesus loving friends I have met through blogs
7. our FCC playgroup- great moms and adorable kids!
8. the freedom to worship and to homeschool!
Thank you Jesus!!