Sunday, May 17, 2009

A case of the "I wants"...

I am sorry that I have not posted for so long... I have been very preoccupied with praying then trusting, then doubting and then repeating the cycle. So basically what I have been doing is driving myself crazy... I have been pretending to pray, not really trusting and then wondering why I am not feeling God's comfort. The cycle has got to stop!

In the evening I enjoy reading a devotional- It has beautiful verses from the bible and then a brief explanation of the meaning of the verse. It is good BUT not good enough I need to get back into my bible and hear our Lord's words!

The truth is I have got a bad case of the "I wants"- it is spring and I want to redo/fix our landscaping, I want to buy the lot next to us so we have more space, I want to buy a basketball hoop, and I want to buy a swingset. It is not a good thing when the "I wants" sneak into my life. It is a red flag- and it tells me that I am going in the wrong direction. I need to take a giant step backwards, clear my thoughts, give my heart to God and get redirected through him. I actually feel like I need to ask forgiveness because his blessings are so great and I have not had a thankful heart.

The "I wants" get in the way of everything that is important. It causes me to not live in the present. It stops me from trusting God. I become more anxious and dissatisfied. It stops me from having a joyful heart. 

It affects more than me- it sends the message to my dear husband that I am not satisfied with all that he has provided for us. It is not a good example for our children.

I have prayed to God, he has answered me but still I have doubted him. He has said over and over to me to trust him, to be at peace, to have a thankful heart. And then I let the world in- the "I wants" and "the doubts", I question his answers and I become fearful of the "what ifs".

Colossians 3:15
And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are all called to live in peace. And always be thankful.

Ephesians 6:23-24
May God give you peace, dear brothers and sisters, and love with faith, from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. May God's grace be upon you all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with an indying love.



10 comments:

Sally- That Girl! said...

Jean,
So raw and authentic your post today. You are so right though and it is easy in this world to get lured by things instead of being grateful for the things we already have been blessed with. All those THINGS do just create more stress for us and those around us.

I love how you are reflecting on your weaknesses and willing to share with us. You are speaking to many!!!

I love that you are able to not only reflect but know what you need to do to put yourself in the right direction... absorbing yourself in God's word!

I love your heart!!!

Lori said...

Awesome post. I definitely get the "I wants" also and you are soooo right, it's a red flag of us getting off the path that God has for us.

Thanks for the great reminder...I might have to come back and read your words again when I get in that place again....and again. :)

David and Sarah said...

Thanks so much for this post. Such a beautiful reminder that God is completely sufficient. He is good!

jan said...

oh yes, you spoke to many! took the words out of our mouths actually....

as women, women of God, women who care deeply about Him, the things of Him, our families....we walk a fine line of ambition and desire. He made us to always want more.....the challenge lies in wanting more of the right stuff. i am glad He made me the way He did...that is why women like us adopt. we will never be complacent, always yearning to be more which usually includes doing more....lining up our 'more' with His will always be, for me anyway, a day-by-day quest.

spring always brings us the nesting is me too! today, we will dig ferns from our woods and plant around the garage. hoping this 'satisfies' my need (and budget :) to make our little spot in the world even more pretty and inviting :)

thanks for keeping it real, xoxoxo, jan :)

Chasity said...

Jean,
Thank you for the very close to home post (I have been a wanter lately too). I have been exactly the same lately and it certainely does not draw us closer to our Heavenly Father. This weekend was a call for us to open our eyes to our blessings, we always spend money to have a (short lived) good time, but this time we had the best time, just enjoying eachother, not spending anything! It truly brings God's blessings so very close to our hearts.

Tracy said...

Thank you for being so real, and open in your post today. I have been dealing with some similar things myself. I just hate the way satan is able to sneak his way into our lives. He makes it so that you dont even notice that hes there, until it starts to spill out into our daily lives. My first clue is when I start to feel irritated over things that wouldn't normally bother me. I start to nitpick. And slowly he steals my joy. Its amazing how it all just sneaks up on you, and how Satan can cloud your mind with worldly things to keep you distracted and distanced from God. It has happened to us all, and for many, like myself more than I care to admit. We just need to be more aware and keep ourselves saturated in his word, and just to know that he is our best friend and that he loves us, and what he can give us is so much more fulfilling than anything this world has to offer.

Chris said...

Oh yeah! you are normal. But normal is not good. God does have the best things lined up for us, but it is sure hard to wait. I think we moms are managers and need to think ahead to see how it will work out. God says to wait on Him.
I've been struggling with the same things. Thanks for putting it into words

Susan said...

oh boy did I need to hear that post.
T/Y!

Pam said...

Great post, and just what I needed to hear!

Tracy said...

Just checking to see if your ok. I miss your daily post. Hope to see you back soon, and I will lift you up in prayer today.