We have already had our family meeting and set down our guidelines/ family rules. We prepped Johnny so he could understand what exactly we were trying to accomplish. If we sprung this meeting on him he may have thought we were crazy but instead he modeled- listening intently, positive responses and a feelings of security with the stated rules. We know all his friends and the families and we have had a 15 yr. hx with him so we are not concerned about him except it was a great opportunity to let him know that if in the future we do question anything regarding his peers or their families we will say no- for his protection.
Sarah really handled it well and liked the fact that it included everybody. She was not singled out. She looked relieved and accepted our rules. She seems much happier today. Some of you have said how the displays of affection and the offering of gifts and food made your child uncomfortable- Sarah immediately and happily accepted all of the food , but she avoided the hugs and kisses. She seems to like that we love her so much and want to protect her and accepted that she need to stay close to us.
I did forget to mention that Sarah has already had two sleep over invitations (she is very endearing and every child likes her)- I immediately said NO (and thought are you crazy, lady). I should have right then and there clarified the situation to her. But I will be honest I do not like confrontations and I was thinking thats what it will turn into so for now we keep our distance and stick with our rules.
I also joined a yahoo group for older child adoption! I am thrilled to be apart of this- I think it will be very helpful as we continue to parent our daughters!
Thank you so so much for your responses. I should have posted about this sooner - you have all been such a big help!!
Happy Fathers Day to your Hubbies!
FYI - I did marry the most wonderful man in the world! I am guessing that you all feel the same way about your frog, I mean prince!! ;-)