Thursday, July 16, 2009

You are going to what? Why?

That is the question my hubby got when he met for a business meeting with 2 friends. He was very surprised at their response. We know we are traveling the road less traveled and that in many ways we are so different from other families but it was still so surprising to hear our friends say this. About a month earlier we got the same reaction and found ourselves stumbling over our words trying to explain "why". After that "not so good" interaction we decided we were no longer going to feel like we have to have an excuse for wanting to adopt again. We would share our good news with who ever we decided to and we would make it very clear that we are excited for our new children to join our family- end of story.

If there is someone that is truly interested in adoption- that's a different situation. I would love to sit down with a cup of coffee and share our story and encourage another family to adopt!

The same business men said " Wow, Jean must have a lot of energy",  "My wife could never do that" and they went on and on. Now if you know my hubby, you know that this guy is a hands on Daddy. He comes home from a full day of work or traveling from another city and he immediately helps with the kids, dinner, picking up the house, having conversations with everyone. He does not sit down and watch TV or retreat to a room by himself- he is in the thick of things right away. In fact he often just takes over and gives me a little break. BTW- that's how I'm able to write this post!

So as these men were talking he was getting so frustrated. At first agreeing about the nice things they were saying about me but when they didn't believe that he also pitched in to make things work - he was so surprised. He thought- What do they do when they get home? and if they do nothing no wonder their dear wife couldn't handle it. BUT, if they helped out, YES she probably could do it and would love it!! There are so many women that want to adopt but their hubby's just are not on board. 

My dear hubby listened to them go on and on and then he came home and vented to his wife- he's not the type that usually needs to vent but this time he did!

Here's to you sweetie- thank you for all you do- you do so much! I love you!

SOOOO, to tie in with the Thankful Thursday theme- I am oh so thankful to be married to the most wonderful guy in the world for 27.5 years and hopefully another 27.5 yrs!
I am also thankful that he has a heart for adoption!
I am thankful for how our Lord orchestrates our lives- thank you Jesus!


Lori said...

Wow. It always amazes me how people often react to adopting. They would be more supportive of a new puppy than a child in need of a home. I have had so many people just look at me with a glazed expression...or say how "wonderful" we are for doing that, as if that lets them off the hook. Grrrr.

And I never really thought about it before but there does seem to be a trend amongst the adoptive dads...all of them I know are a lot like Jim...pitching in and helping all the time. I can't imagine it any other way.

I am also soooo thankful for a husband who helps cook, clean, wipe noses (and butts...ok, the little one), play on the floor with blocks, teach older boys how to work on their cars, etc., etc.

GREAT post!!

Hezra said...

I would love to hear your thoughts on adoption. I too am getting discouraging stuff from others. But sadly, it is my own parents and other Christians who should get it. I get that all the time, "how do you do it?" hah! well. . . um, I don't do it ALL, silly.

Mandi said...

WOW, what a great post. It amazes me how many people just don't "get it." Never in a million years did I think I would have 5 kids. I truly thought I was done at 3 but He had another plan for our family. We don't feel like we made the decision to adopt but that He chose us to parent one of His children. We have been so blessed through adoption and I cannot imagine our family as He meant for it to be.
I know there are several family members and friends that just don't "get it," but the important thing is that WE do.


McNew Family said...

Yeah, Jim! My hubby is the same - we are VERY lucky, I think, aren't we, Jean!

Suzette said...

Jean, your title caught my eye and as I read those were the same thoughts I had on my mind as I drove home from visiting my little girl at church camp tonight. I heard the song by Cindy Morgan, "If I am your princess, then you are the king of the world..." I thought of what a beautiful picture of God's love she has because she has a daddy that loves her and treats her like a princess.
We are so blessed to have husbands that DEMONSTRATE God's love in amazing ways!

Janet and Kevin said...


We are right there with you on other people's reactions to the path God is leading us to go.

Because we are adopting not once but twice at our advanced ages of 50 and 52, most people think we are crazy. We seem to be a bit out of place in the normal everyday life in our little town now, but when we read other adoptive family blogs and especially when we attended a reunion of the Philip Hayden Foundation recently (amazing Christian foster village where our Philip lived in China), we feel perfectly normal.

Kevin and I are so tickled to be getting this additional blessing in our lives, and now we feel we are perfectly normal. I guess it is all in your perspective!! LOL!!

God bless your family through this newest adoption journey.

Janet, Kevin, Ted, Philip, and waiting for Eli

Tammy said...

Oh, no! The page is blank again.

soontobemomof9 said...

I am thankful for meeting friends like you that understand what having a heart for adoption means! I think more husbands could be on board more easily IF they could support each other! I know my husband would LOVE for someone, anyone that he knows to not be appalled that we are adopting 2 more, and esp. special needs girls! It does get tiring sharing with excitement and joy our plans only to be met with shock and negativity!

Your husband rocks! :)

Sally- That Girl! said...

There is nothing better than having a hubby who shares our hearts for adoption. Sometimes I have to pinch myself when I hear Robert say let's not adopt one more but two more and make it an even ten!

Many people do not get it and for that I feel sorry for them. Adoption has been the most wonderful part of my life!

TanyaLea said...

I'm with Mandi~ It always blows my mind how shallow many peoples' minds are...and often very well-meaning Christian people, as well. But even if they don't 'get it' ...the important thing is that 'we do'! And it always amazes me when someone says "I could never do that", because the truth is, if they would just open up their hearts and minds and allow the Lord to light their path, they most certainly could! That's why it is SO important that we surround ourselves with like-minded supporters, to keep us focused and not discouraged. We can talk til we are blue in the face, and some will still never quite get it. And it's too bad really, because they are missing out on one of God's GREATEST blessings!

And hats off to your husband for the man he is...I've learned how priceless our loving and Godly hubbys are, and we musn't take them for granted! We've been given one of life's greatest blessings when we have a man like that!! Have a blessed weekend!

David and Sarah said...

I think that you're absolutely right! If more husbands were committed to their children (and wives) in the way that you described, a lot more children would find homes. We are very blessed, aren't we?!