Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Big Kids Still Need Their Mom and Dad!

Over this Christmas break we have discovered more than ever how much our big kids need us. I remember thinking back and perceiving myself as incredibly independent but I do believe my memory is distorted. In the midst of my independence I was calling my mom at least 2 times a day! Sometimes it was a question, sometime it was a lull in the day and we just chatted and other times it was to process and think through the latest incident. Of course, in the midst of this I was certain I was completely independent, made my own decisions, didn't need any help from others and no one was gonna tell me what to do- ya right!

Hubby and I have settled into this little routine with the three kids at home- it is oh, so manageable and even though we don't get out a lot we spend lots of time together. Since the Christmas season/vacation has started things have changed. We have noticed that our older kids really want us, they want our time, our listening ears and heaven forbid even our opinion (as long as it doesn't veer to far off of theirs!)!

At first it was slightly bothersome - after all, we had our routine- but quickly it turned into a joy. Their response to us is immediate and appreciative. They love the time and attention they are getting from us. We are enjoying it too! It is great conversation and we get the opportunity to guide them. For me it is an opportunity for us to pray through their situations and let them/us see God at work.

I think it is so healthy to have the ebb and flow of relationships. For them to know their are time they get and times the need to give. When a family member needs someone there are sibs galore for them to choose from and eager parents to help. As we adopt in our family their are also times that they are needed to support their new siblings and even the parents! Whether it is an evening of babysitting or a few hours off during the day. Often times we have the big kids model appropriate behavior- I love this because they aren't always appropriate but when all eyes are on them they have to be ;-) !! Example- Johnny please make your bed! Thank you! snicker, snicker!

Hubby and I are used to readjusting. We change things around a bit until we arrive at a new normal! What a joy these kids are and what a blessing it is to have each of them in our lives!
Thank you Jesus!


a Tonggu Momma said...

My momma always said that parenting 10 and younger is physically exhausting, but parenting 11 and older is emotionally so.

David and Sarah said...

I love the ages of my kiddos, but I'm also looking forward to the time when they are older. Each new stage of life is a joy, isn't it?!


Shannon said...

I'm so glad to have found your blog. My husband and I are leaving in 2 weeks to adopt our daughter from Hunan and I am already asking the Lord how we can do this again. I assumed since we are in our mid 40's and the wait is so long, this was it for us. Your story gives me renewed hope! I so much want to do this! God Bless your family.

Sue said...

Love the pictures. Catching up with the enteries since I was gone for a week. I agree about the one about one more person say you will busy....I am tired of the one that "you are crazy or brave because of adopting an older child".