Monday, December 28, 2009

If one more person says to me...

Your really gonna be busy with 4 little girls, I think I will have to scream! Excuse me I have already raised 5 very active children. I have handled the holidays for 28 years. I have worked outside the home for 9 of those years. I have been with my parents as they died and my husband has been with his parents as they died. Although we were not the number one caretaker as they were ill we grieved their loss heavily. I have moved with my husband 6 times and some of them were out of necessity not out of desire. In my 51 years I have experience a lot.

I can do this- and if I didn't have this attitude- I would have given up on everything long ago.

Yes, I am sure I can handle this and with the Lord's help- actually, I am positive I can!

Will a few things change? Yes, they will. Maybe some people will get a few less presents at Christmas time, maybe I won't be able to have an extended family Christmas, maybe I won't be able to send out Christmas cards, maybe I won't be able to attend some gatherings with friends, maybe we will have to take 2 cars to church or to an event, maybe some of our current family members may have to cut back on their activities, maybe I won't be able to return some phone calls, maybe I won't get to travel as much as I had hoped.

Guess what else might change- 2 little girls will now have a family. They will have a Mommy and a Daddy for the first time in their lives. They will have love, food, a home, many opportunities, an education, and a future to look forward too. Excuse me but I happen to think that it is well worth the price I/we will have to pay... for their life.

Guess what - I'm planning to adopt again after this! Why? Why else? BECAUSE THERE ARE CHILDREN OUT THERE THAT NEED A HOME! Why aren't you adopting?

Will I be busy? Yes, I will be busy. We will make the necessary changes, adjust our life and move on!

Are you busy now? I am sure you are. We all perceive ourselves as busy. Are you too busy to save a life? Are you too busy to love a child? Are you too busy to give a child a home? How can your heart say no to all the above. Mine can't, I don't want it too. I hear the calling, do you?

Matthew 21:21
I tell you the truth, if you have faith and don't doubt, you can do things like this and much more.

If someone is genuinely concerned about me please-
Ask me how you can help, if you'd like!
Uplift us in prayer!
Say encouraging words to us!
Share your Christian faith with us!

Do not project your own personal concerns onto us.

Yes, families that adopt are doing something out of the ordinary. Yes, families that adopt multiple times or sibling groups are doing something out or the ordinary. Uplift them, encourage them, support them, don't drag them down. We/they are not amazing, they are not special, they are not doing something that you cannot do. We/ they have bad days and good days. All they are doing is simply trying to serve the Lord, love the Lord and listen to the LORD - who is by the way our adoptive Father.


Janet and Kevin said...

Preach it sister! Loved the post!! Amen to all you said.

Janet, Kevin, Ted, Philip, and waiting for our Eli

Jill said...

Thanks for this post Jean.
It was exactly what my heart needed right now.
It has been a tough year, as adoption expenses are finally catching up with us. We are down to one car and having trouble making Lucy's tuition payments. We didn't exchange presents with family this year. Mark took a pay hit, and it seems sometimes all we do is argue about money.
But I need to remind myself that more important than money, I have 2SWEET DARLING daughters to love and cherish, and for that I am ONE LUCKY WOMAN!

Joan said...

God Bless! Awesome post - your family is very blessed to have you. :-)

allisyn said...

i'm am so thrilled that your family is adopting emma and ellie!!!God's got great plans for yall :)

Dardi said...

Love your spunk!! My hubby & I were just having a similar conversation about where our lives are headed. Seems so many live working towards retirement AND THEY TOTALLY MISS LIVING!!! Our lives have been blessed beyond measure by the sweet little girl that has come into our lives through adoption (along with the blessing of our children by birth), & we can't wait to see what will happen when we bring our son home from Ethiopia! We desire a life that has us jumping out of the boat! Thanks for a great post to get my day started (& I LOVE that you mention you plan to adopt again!!!!!)

Tracy said...

This is one of the best post I have read in a long time. Everytime one of those questions are asked by someone all I ever here is selfishness that has been brought on by the very selfish society we have become. Its sad. I cant take one look at an orphan and not want to add an extra bed to a bedroom in our house and want to bring them home. The idea of any one of these children living a life without family kills me inside. I read a book one time about how its so easy to disregard these children because it has not been made personal to us. If you take the faceless orphan and give them a face of, say, one of your own children, it changes everything. That child now has a face of someone you love, someone you know is loveable. Now its personal!
Someone just said to me the other day, while my son was throwing a fit, "You know you have another 18 yrs of this?" and I replied, "No, I have a lifetime, and I cant wait."
God bless ya Jean. I love your heart, and I know God loves it too, and you are going to be so blessed for a life time.

Mom to my China Posse said...

If I had a dollar for everytime I hear the comment "you sure have your hands full" when I take my 5 little ones out I would be a very rich Momma. lol......... I have resorted to kust smiling and saying "yes, but you should see how full my heart is" That tends to throw them off guard. lol........

Pam said...

Well said, Jean! GREAT post!

Laura L. said...

Hey Jean,
This is a wonderful post. May God bless you abundantly for all you're doing. You are a very special family.

Chris said...

Go girl!
I just tell people "well I ain't bored"
Gotta remember the "heart full" answer

Sally- That Girl! said...

Love your post. All the things I should have and could have said in mine but didn't have the time or room to post!!! Funny how each of us have the same comments and concerns. Just wait to we post that we are planning on adopting again as well and what special need we are committed to! I am sure we are going to get a lot more rolled eyes, comments and concerns.

Love your shared heart!!! We are so lucky!

Kim said...

Such a beautiful post!! We hear so many times "Are they all Yours?"...I love to proclaim"Yes indeed they are ALL mine (and God's of course)!"
I get so upset when people try to judge how others live their lives. Most who make the judgements of families who have "so many children", wouldn't dream of living a life outside of their "worldly box"... I call them "happy,plastic people".They would rather have material things and their "its all about me attitudes". I have to admit God has really opened my eyes through this blessing called adoption. I think it is amazing how you and your family have chosen to devote your lives to God's calling!
Kim (and my 6 chili peppers)

Nancy said...

Oooo, I can think of some good polite one would be:

"Yes! Isn't it great!"

I like the above posts that mention they are LIVING their lives. They are engaged in life. What could feel better than that?

Lizzyf1 said...

You sassy girl!!!

I always hate it when people say how lucky Zoe is that we adopted her. I'm always like....NOOOO we are the lucky ones becuase we get to be her parents for the rest of her life.

I'm just jealous cuz my hubby says we're done and I'd like to adopt again. If it's God's will though he will soften his heart and want him to adopt again

Sophie Neri said...

I love this post! I have 5 biological kids and people would literally be ignorant enough to ask "don't you guys have a t.v. in your room?" Then we adopted our daughter and that kind of shut them up. This is a very selfish society we live in and not many are willing to make sacrifices for those that are in need. One comment that really gets under my skin is "life is too short you need to enjoy it". If only people would just shift their focus on what's important to God and off of themselves.

Suzette said...

Such a great post that expresses so many of our own hearts. There is no way on my own that I will be able to accomplish what lies ahead in 2010, but through God's power I can do exceedingly above and beyond more than I ever dreamed.

Lilly's Family said...

we are in the midst of our 3rd adoption for our 7th child. we have been hearing great criticism. . .a friend e-mailed me this AM w/ a link to your blog and said "Go read this!" I am so glad she did. This is just what I needed to read and now maybe I will have the courage to be a little more honest w/ those who are so quick to question our decision to adopt again! Thank you for sharing from your heart.

Janet said...

Great post Jean! I used to be one of those "plastic" people. People will really talk when they hear we plan to downsize our home (that took us 20 years and 8 moves working our way up to), so we will be able to adopt more kids if God leads us to. Boy, has God changed me through adoption.
Tell the nay-sayers that those kids keep you youthful==because you look great girl!

Jennifer O'Cain said...

Well said! I will be adding this to my long list of posts that speak so well why we do/should adopt! Thanks

Sammie said...

I so feel for you. You are so right, the people who are concerned about YOUR adoption are projecting THEIR OWN fears onto you. THEY are not comfortable with adoption, THEY don't want to be raising more kids..
Heck you are just fine with raising more kids, in fact you love doing it. I adopted my first child when I was 50, he was 6 he just turned 14 and I have also adopted a second son who is now 10.Life is good, it just may not be the life for everyone else.
Mom to Andy and Alex