Saturday, January 9, 2010

What Do You Think?

We are so thankful to have our LID! Now we can start to prepare for these special little girls t0 join our family!

First on the list are the bedrooms! We actually have two bedrooms that are close to being ready- Sarah and Anna are already rooming together. We just need to move Anna's clothes over! Anna's old room will be for Emma and Ellie. We will make a few changes but there is a double bed in there now and they like to sleep together so that should work out great! Except for the fact that now I am beginning to think of putting all four girls in one bedroom? This is where you come in! I need your advice.

Here is the situation- it would be so nice and easy to leave it as planned. Less cost, less moving, everybody has a little space.

Sarah would like to get bunk beds and have all four girls sleep in the same room. We wouldn't get them just because Sarah wants them but I am thinking it would be great for bonding for the girls. When Sarah and Anna came home they each slept with us for about 4 months. Em and El could do that but we all can't fit in our bed "and they all rolled over and one fell out!" We'd be certain to lose someone- probably Daddy! I think he'd voluntarily leave for a good night sleep! The other option is a mattress on our bedroom floor for the girls for the first couple months.

If they all slept together I could see that being very bonding for them. I am not to worried about hubby and I bonding because I am with the girls ALL the time and hubby is a very involved, loving, caring Dad. Em and El have already bonded with their birth parents and a foster mom- I believe they will be able to do it again with us and their new family.

My bigger concern is the 2 girls accepting/ bonding with their new sister that is near their age. Sarah is very excited about them but I can see them being not so sure about her especially IF she tries to separate them. That could be something so simple as playing with one and not the other- it could happen accidently and could cause bad feelings. I am thinking that Emma and Ellie may behave like twins because they have had to rely on each other for security for so long.
In China they tried to separate them and both girls shut down until they were reunited. They have however gone to separate schools, so that is good.

Sooooo, what do you think? Should we leave it as is? Will the bedroom with 4 girls in it be a zoo, without enough personal space for each child and cause more problems that actually helping them with bonding? Will it drive me crazy not being able to send children to their own room to get ready for the day/night. Or will we love it and see it facilitate us in becoming a unified family?

Please give me feedback when you can!! I so appreciate it!!


From the Erben Gang..... said...

My three boys share a room (6,11,12). My older two are really like twins and they do leave Bobby out some--but think they would leave him out more if they didn't share a room with him. They are forced to deal with each other and forge a relationship. (And they have requested to all share a room). Yes, it may be hard on Sarah at first for the reasons you stated, but I think it will help them grow closer than they would if those two little ones were allowed to continue to be sequestered. (My three girls want to share a room but with franki still in a crib, we don't have the space in one room) Lots of love

Michele said...

I totally agree with the above comment. I feel like with Emma and Ellie having their own room, it would be easy to leave Sarah out. I think it would be a great bonding experience for them to all share a room! You could set up one of the rooms as a little "den" for them to hangout in too.

I am so stinkin excited for you! But I am REALLY excited for Sarah and Anna. How awesome to have so many sisters! I am trying to convince my hubby that we need more kids!! LOL!

Tracy said...

I personally think it would be possibly better to room all the girls together. How better to get to know each other than if your eating and sleeping together. Then you could maybe put a small couch or chair, some books, artsy stuff where they could go if they wanted to be alone, or all be together and do something fun. If all else fails Jean you can always change it no matter how you do it in the beginning.Best of luck and Congratulations!

Lori said...

I agree that having the girls all together is a great idea. Perhaps use the extra room as a play room?

I think all siblings should have to share a room at some point! It teaches them much about life! Sharing, cooperating, selflessness, etc.!

Sally- That Girl! said...

I agree all in one room!! How about using the extra room now, the one the girls are not already in and make it a big deal to get the new sleeping room ready for ALL the Chinese sisters! Then you can transform their existing room into a play room, reading and I need some time to myself area, and keep Anna's clothes in that room to save space in the sleeping room.

As for the Em and El sleeping with you guys, I think the bonding is going to happen on it's own time anyhow. You guys need a good night's sleep so you can have the energy for all these precious girls. And the girls are older, they will be sleeping and bonding with sisters. You can find lots of ways during the day to bond with them.

Sounds like fun! See ya in China!!!

Blogging Friend said...

At first I was against the girls all rooming together because I felt like Sara might feel it was more her room than the others since she was there first. Then I read the post above about setting up the girls in the extra bedroom to where it is a new room to all of them. With new cute bunk beds and all the trimmings would make it a lot of fun for Emma, Ellie, Sara. and of course Miss Ava.
The only downfall I see with this is if no one wants to sleep on the top bunk. Also it does not have to be a long term plan. It might be in a couple of years that the girls want different rooming arrangements. LOL!!

Please keep us posted on what you decide and post pictures of the room(s). LOL!!


Sophie Neri said...

Great idea, sounds like a good opportunity for the girls to bond. How fun for them I bet Sarah and Anna are so excited. We let our daughter, who,s been home for 2 years from Guatemala , sleep in our bed and now she's up every night crying and she won't stop until she's in our room. So happy for your family.

Are These Kids All Yours? said...

Our thoughts....we have 7 soon to be 8 children. 4 boys, and soon 4 girls. When we did foster care we separated our children more because we wanted to "slow down" bonding in a way for our kids' sakes if they went back home(which they didn't). Now we have 4 sets of bunk beds. Yes, at night it is a little hectic, but I love that ALL of our children - from 4 different biological families- LOVE BEING TOGETHER!!! There is NO separation of bio families or they came first etc. I think this has really helped bonding in our family. They would really have no real clue right now- literally if you asked are they all siblings. (I HATE that question by the way- and always answer yes- he he he). Then I laugh as I tell people their ages...he he he he....because it is impossible because they are all so close in age. So, just an opinion.

If there needs to be separate time...which we do in the afternoons (we homeschool)- we have them go to different areas in the house...which is great because we have extra bedroom for just toys, and one for homeschooling, etc. NICE :)

Chad and Kristy said...

My kids have seperate rooms and yet they still choose to sleep with each other. Same thing with me when I was little. We had seperate rooms but at bedtime I just wanted to be in the room with my siblings. I can remember my sister and I (2 years apart) staying up late and making up bedtime stories to tell each other. It was so much fun! Of course as we got older we had to put tape across the floor saying "stay off my side!"

Pam said...

You are very fortunate to have a room large enough to sleep all 4 girls! That being the case, I say, go for it! Also, I think that Em and Ellie will be far less likely to keep to themselves, if the girls are all together. If for some reason it doesn't work out, you can always use the extra bedroom. Also, if you have an extra bedroom, there will be room for more children, should that ever happen in the future! :) Just saying.

Janet said...

I'm for 1 room. I would worry that Sarah would be the odd man out if the two "new" girls share; they are already bonded to each other.
My bio kids always had their own room (1 boy, 1 girl). My daughter retreated to her room too often as a teen--I regret that I allowed it. Now she is going off to college (Monday!) and will be sharing with 3 other girls=she is in for such a shock!
I think the Duggar's have the right idea. We plan to take a break from adopting next year, sell our house, and build another one. Lord willing, we will then have 1 huge boy room and 1 girl room, allowing us to adopt even more kids! Janet

Hezra said...

We have currently a great set up -- it has taken us a while to figure out. I have the three boys in one room.(the big boys toys are there, but Isaiahs are in the family room)
The girls are in one room too. We are building another set of bunk beds. So there will be 4 girls in that room for sleeping, but yes all their toys are in the family room. This means they only dress, sleep, and read their current books in the bedroom. This set up forces them to live together and they form bonds. Our room is right in the middle of the two bedrooms. We have the smallest one, but it is working out fine. We have only a bed, two lamps and two nightstands, and soon will have a chair under my window.(when I find the perfect one!) We have tried letting kids take turns having a room to themselves, but I noticed every single time within two weeks that kid was selfish, rude and greedy. Snapping at everyone who came near their "room" it was awful. It happened with every one of them no matter the personality!!! my own little science experiment.

Laura L. said...

Hi there,
I like the one room idea.


Nancy said...

One room for all of the above reasons!!!!

Chris said...

Well I think you have the vote!
If you can find the bunks w/ double on bottom and single on top, they will have a choice of the same bed or separate.
Glad to hear so many people think the same way I do.

Karen said...

I vote for the all in one room idea too. Whoever is in the other room could feel left out. It will also leave you another room as a play room/extra room. You could always put a day bed in the second room (or something like that) in case you needed Anna to nap (but not at night) and the older girls wanted to play in their room. Our youngest 3 boys are 7,4&4. They asked to share a room and eventhough they each have their own bed, they ended up in the same bed most nights.

I can't wait to see your precious girls home!

Sue said...

I can speak from experience. When we first brought Katie and Jenny home, they shared a room and Monika had her own room. After a year, Monika didn't like being alone, so she moved in and Jenny moved out (on her own )..after a couple of months, Jenny didn't like that, so we put the 3 of them together. Our house is big enough (and yours is bigger) that there is plenty of room for them go if they want to be by themselves. As for night isn't bad at all...when we put the girls to bed..they are allow to talk for 15 minutes and then they go to sleep and for the most part that works. I also think the bonding has really helped them and like Sarah, Emma and Elli they are close in age.