Monday, May 31, 2010

Staying Focused

Struggling- that's what I've been doing. It is so natural for me to want to take over and control the situation. But the situation is not mine to control, it is his. There is no way I can do this journey without him, not for a second. This was not my brilliant idea but at times I like to take credit for it- this is his desire for me, for us. This is how he has commissioned us to serve him.

I cannot do it without him. When I try to take control emotions enter in, chaos, frustration, questioning and personal desires seep into what is his, what is beautiful and what is pleasing. I need to step aside. I need to give my heart and soul to him. I need to live in peace and obey.

Honestly, I am happier that way. It seems so right when he is in control. We live in a world where their are so many standards but they aren't his. They are the standards of people, people who are operating not my faith but by their own will. And they are certain they are right and quick to cast judgement.

Keep my eyes are on you, oh Lord, my desires are to follow you, to serve you in whatever capacity you direct me. You bring me great joy! You free me from the bondage of the world. Please keep me close to you, please strengthen me to follow only your desires. To you, I am eternally grateful.


living4him5 said...

I know the wait is so tough at times. I've been daydreaming and looking at my daughters photo now for over 15 months. We just received our NVC letter so I know we still have weeks ahead of us and now the weeks seems like months because we are just SO close. I've been praying for you Jean and that you'll be in China very soon!! It is so much better when we lean on our Lord. Keep leaning!!!

God bless you!
Amy <>>

David and Sarah said...


This is such a great post, simply because it is completely TRUE! Everything is so much better than we can even imagine when it is His idea and done in His way! But, we know that He does not want your precious girls to wait forever for their parents to come, so we can pray in faith that you will be able to get them soon.


Karin said...

I know the wait can be so difficult at times. It's hard to keep adjusting our hopes and expectations to God's. But it is soooo freeing and brings great peace. :) Big hugs as you wait!

Sophie said...

Waiting is something most of us seem to struggle with and handing it over to the Lord is difficult as well. For me it's an area I struggle in. I will pray for the Lord to keep you focused and at peace knowing that He has it all under control.

Serving the King said...

Well, as Dori the fish on Nemo would say.....Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming. Who knew such wisdom could come from a fish. Continued prayers for your friend!!

Cari said...

I think this part of the China adoption process is the hardest, Jean. As you know from experience, it will all soon be a distant memory. Pray for you!

Jennifer O'Cain said...

I know there is nothing I can say to make the waiting easier but I am praying that the wait will be over soon.

Thanks for stopping by my blog the other day. I started composing an email full of questions for you about homeschool and never sent it. I am in the gathering info stage. I did order Sonlights catalog and saw your precious Sarah in there. Luckily I live in a state with a lot of homeschooling families and there are a lot of resources available to me. I will send you an email because I was wanting to do two grades in one year to catch Lily up to grade level. I am sure you could give me some input on that!

Well I'll keep checking to see if you have that TA and I pray it is soon!