Saturday, July 10, 2010

Progress, Progress, Progress!!!

Oh my, with each moment I see rays of hope! It is so awesome to see God at work!! The girls are making baby step progress and it is such a joy to witness it!

Today we had the medical exam. Katie, Sarah and Anna stayed in at the hotel while we went with the girls. Good choice- we had some bonding time while the others were not bored to death. The exams went well- we had a considerate respectful woman doctor and it was not invasive at all- PTL! They are considered healthy girls but in my mind I want to say... ya, right. No one can go through what they have been through and be considered healthy. Honestly, I think these two are more traumatized than our other two BUT God will prevail and we will make it through the storm!

They each had 3 shots and the TB. Ellie was fine but Emma was not, she fought it and cried big time. It is good to see Emma show her fears and emotions. At times her emotions do not match what is happening. Crying when getting shots is okay to do. She is also starting to smile more often- we are thankful to see it!

After the exams we went to Starbucks for lunch- okay, okay and for my coffee! Emma really started acting up she was grabbing in private places-(very inappropriate) and putting her dress up over her head. Hubby was firm and told her NO- she started to cry and continued through our light lunch. Ellie was mad because she did not get her chocolate pastry- sorry honey- that's life- we were having a light lunch (we had fresh fruit and juice and a sandwich which she had gobbles up the night before at the airport so we know she liked it)! Both refused to eat... we were okay with it. We encouraged them to eat and offered many times but they were stubborn, so they went without lunch. We went back to the room and prepared our laundry while the girls whaled. We offered love and hugs and allowed them to accept them on their own terms- after awhile the settled down.

We took them swimming- it was a beautiful sight!! I started to take pics and then was reminded by the pool patrol of the "no pic" sign- silly, silly so I stopped. They didn't seem to care that it was their first time in a pool- well, at least I got a few! The girls were so excited to put on their swimming suit- I'm sure it was a first and they shouted with glee when they went into the water! it was very bonding!! Ellie got used to the big girls water wings fairly quickly- and right away started puttin her head under water!! Can't wait for her to start swim lessons! Emma was very happy to have her floating wring on but then got a little wild. She got out of the pool, slipped it off and jumped in... we were watching the whole time so she was safe but she went down and was not going to come back up without our help- I think she was a little shocked. We will have our guide talk to her about water safety in the morning!!

We were having a blast, bonding but when I got the double booby pinch in the pool it was time to take Emma out of the water again not appropriate... We sat in a lawn chair waiting for the others to finish their fun. She really wanted to be in the water but it was a big NO! I made it clear- you no touch me their and I no touch you there! Sorry if this is getting too graphic. They just need to learn how to act. They need to learn boundaries.

We did find out that their foster Mom and Dad did not take them anywhere at all- that is okay I do not want to be critical- I really liked her but it sheds light on why they act the way they do- they don't know any better. They have had zero experiences- their world has been small. They just don't know what is okay and what is not okay, BUT today I think they were catching on!

We did another lice treatment after swimming since I did the first one wrong. I am living in denial. Yes, they still had nits- I did my best given the circumstances. Hubby and Katie won't go near their hair so it is all me. Denial is a nice place - you should try it! JK, I will thoroughly deal with all of this when we get home. So far I think the rest of us are okay but then how would I know, I live it denial!

The kids were wiped out after swimming and the treatment. I was nearing 6:00 and it was time for dinner. They did great having dinner at a nice restaurant- we are trying to teach them some manors and how to act appropriately in public! They seemed happy, they responded well... I think they like us! I know they sometimes want to go back to their foster Mom but I think it is only because it is familiar NOT because they love her. They had no problem saying good bye to them.

The last thing Emma had to say to her foster Mom was - "no one will control me"- that is a little scary for a new Mom to hear BUT I know someone who is stronger than a scared little girl and he can and will control you sweetheart! Thank you Jesus! AND just in case you think I sound overly confident please know that your prayers are what is making all this happen! It could not be- without you, dear prayer warriors!

Today was a God victory and I am so thankful to him! Thank you for praying for us!!

Amidst all the challenges we have been having a blast- it is driving me crazy going out of order with posts but it the way it is. I do plan to go back and share more pics with you. The pics do not show the challenges- they show the fun and the memories! Downloading pics has been difficult/ impossible.

Thank you Sally for helping me out- I will be posting wherever I can- either the blog or JTM?
I so appreciate you responses/ comments they keep me going!

Because the girls are challenging and we have a 16 yr old son at home that is wonderful but does not share the passion for adoption - please also pray for our adjustment/ his adjustment/ the girls adjustment once we are home. I am grateful to you dear friends for your prayers and for sharing this journey with us!

God Bless You!!


Mary Kate said...

PTL things are going better!!!! So happy to hear you are having fun, too!!! Thanks so much for the update!

Mary Kate

David and Sarah said...

Oh Jean, I'm glad that you have seen some progress. You are a wonderful mom! Such precious little girls. They'll figure it out.

Blessings and prayers,

Angie said...

Thank you, God, for providing tiny steps of growth and bonding for these little girls. Their world is changing so rapidly, and so many unknowns are placed before them. Keep working in their hearts and minds to grow in love, respect, and obedience within their new family, and that they come to know and love You.

Shonni said...

What an experience!
I am and will be praying for you all.
I especially understand about your son...our 20 year old has/is having problems also about our adopting AGAIN.
Praying in Colorado friend.

living4him5 said...

PTL for progress!!! We're still praying for you all!!

God bless,
Amy <><

Lori said...

Sounds like you guys are doing a wonderful job nipping the bad stuff in the bud! I'm so thankful that you are making progress!! Praise the Lord!

The double booby pinch cracks me up. Sorry...NOT funny for you!! But it was funny to read!

Sally-Girl! said...

First, I think we need a convention for moms who adopt who have an older child who may not understand adoption completely or have that on their heart like it is ours.

Second, you rock Jean. I know your challenges. I know you and I know that you will let the peace and guidance of our Father lead you. Honestly, I don't know how others do it without Him!!!

You are making the best out of a difficult situation. I love that you are seeing the baby steps, so many of us might miss them and get discouraged.

You are at the top of my prayer list right along with the transition of Gio into our family right now!!

Love you to pieces too!!!

mom2eliza-mom2ava said...

Jean, I typed up a long comment and it got lost somewhere. Just wanted to let you know that I'm enjoying reading your updates. Chucking and sighing along with you; certainly recalling so many of those similar moments with Ava when I was in China. That fatigue I was feeling then is sure coming back now! I was actually relieved during those days that Ava shut down on me because she would go to bed early!

Ava (Shen, Meiying pronounced Sun Maying if you're talking to the girls about her) said that Ellie was her favorite friend. She only knew Emma outside on the play area. Their fosters moms weren't friends so they didn't play outside of the school day. She said they did fight though. Usually over a toy or something that one or the other had, with words or scratching and shoving. She said Ellie is very nice, very good girl. She doesn't remember her eating more than everyone else. I do remember Ava shoving food in her mouth in China too; could've been the way they ate, or afraid their plate was going to be taken away before they were done, or stuffing/coping. Stay strong, set those boundaries! Enjoying reading...
Sarah and Ava!

Janet and Kevin said...

Jean - so good to hear from you. Just know that we are there praying for you all through your trials and struggles. Adoption isn't for the fain of heart, is it?!! How many times lately have I said that to people we live and work around. There are just "issues" with it that we didn't have with Ted having him from birth. Some of those issues are just down right uncomfortable. Then add to that being in a different country away from home coping with those issues.

I love the way we can all support each other during these difficult times. The China trip is wonderful and horrendous at the same time! We can almost feel like we are right back there with you all over again during those difficult times.

Know that you are always being lifted in prayer. We admire you and your family for following God's lead even when it isn't comfortable and for sharing your journey with us.

We also rejoice with you in the progress that you are seeing. When we compare pictures of our Elijah then and now, it is amazing how far he has come! Only Jesus can do that!! :) Love your comment about Jesus being the one who can ably control your new daughter. How wise of you to put it at His feet!

Love to you all,
Janet, Kevin, Ted, Philip, and Elijah

Sophie said...

Praise the Lord that there is progress being made. I'm sure it can be a little challenging at times, and it just seems so sad that their foster mom didn't give them guidance in certain areas.
I will be praying for your family Jean.

Mei Mei s and Mayhem said...

Enjoying reading your journey and I also appreciate your honesty with what you are dealing with! It really helps us that are about to be there, to see what things we might have to deal with and work out!!

And Yes the double booby pinch was quite funny to read but Im sure not funny for you!!! :-)

soontobemomof9 said...

Hands full = hearts full. Yes? ;)

Even though Tavi is younger, we have very similar behaviors we are dealing with here. Add to that her blindness, and overwhelming desire to get her way.,,, and I just praise God we ARE home! :)

I LOVE the pics if the girls! Sounds like you have a good grasp of things. As for headlicr.... Only had one child with it. But it really itches and made him have trouble sleeping. Plus it was sooo hard to finally get rid of it! Praying you see the last of it asap!!!!

Pam said...

Oh, I smiled when the title of your post came up, Jean! I am thrilled to read that progress is already being made! Baby steps, baby steps.....

I had to be much firmer, while still in China, than I had anticipated with Charlie. But certain behaviours are NOT ok and need to be nipped in the bud. Keep on keeping on. You're doing a GREAT job.

Susan A said...

Keep hanging in there, you WILL see it through! :) Thank you for being so honest and sharing how you went about certain situations, as it is very helpful for others who may find themselves in similar situations and not know what to do... they will be prepared and know what to do, boundaries to be set, etc.

You're wonderful and doing wonderful! :) may He continue to encourage you with the girls' baby steps each and every day.

Are These Kids All Yours? said...

PRAYING!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love the pics :) I am sure it is hard work so just know we will continue to pray. I don't think it was too graphic, a good reminder that because of their past- they have to be taught things that other children in our home know. It is a good illustration. It is also very encouraging to see some improvements and glimmers of hope. Love hearing your story!

joeks said...

Prayers continue.
I am the one blessed that you are sharing the journey with us!

Karin said...

Glad you had good times today! About your 16 year old..just wanted to tell you that our oldest (now 20) used to fuss and tell us he would run away if we adopted again. It was so hard to have him upset. But guess what? He recently told me that he LOVES his big family, thinks it's cool that we have adopted so many times and wants to adopt when he is older.

I am hoping and praying that the nits are dead--and just empty shells with nothing inside them. I had the nit-picking job when our girls got lice, too, so I know how exhausting it is. I felt like my whole body was crawling. ugh!

Blogging Friend said...


I am so glad that you are seeing some progress. It is really sad that these little girls were not able to live much outside of their foster home. But they now have a Mommy and Daddy that are willing to teach them. I am so glad to hear that you guys are nipping things in the bud right away and not letting them away with everything. I have a feeling that Emma is going to find out that life in America does come with boundaries. That is okay though. They will learn and grow from that. I wonder if her Foster Mom told her that Americans completely control their kids or something ugly like that.
It sounds like their ages are not anywhere correct and you may have to decide how old you think they are and have birth certificates changed here in America. Poor girls. I do not know their story but it sounds really sad.

As far as your son goes. If I remember correctly he loves Sara and Anna very much and they love him. I bet he will come around with Emma and Ellie before long. Do not worry about him, he sounds like a kid with a head on his shoulders.

Wish I could help with the lice issue. Do not know much about it but I can tell you my head itches just thinking about it and I am a long ways away from you guys.

I really hope the rest of your trip goes well, and you can get home soon so you can start your new life with boundaries and all, with your little ones.


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