The girls have been home 3 plus weeks- the honeymoon is over- and reality is setting in. It is not a bad reality it is just our reality. This home, their toys, the clothes are no longer a novelty. We are getting used to the rhythm and the routine of being a family.
The girls have moments of being lost in thought. They are away from everything that is familiar and I can tell they are mourning all they have lost and missing their past. It is interesting that it doesn't matter if one is "better" than the other- it was all they knew and it comforted them. Our home does not yet offer them the same comfort as their home in China.
I sometimes wonder where was I during Sarah's first month? I mean, I hardly remember it and I think I was caught up in the Christmas season. We came home December 5th and I must have been jet lagged and preoccupied with the holidays.
It seems like communication with Sarah went forward at a fast pace. She HAD to talk to us- she didn't care what it was about, she just had to do it! By week two she was telling me how to drive!
We are moving forward communicating to the girls but it is at a snails pace. Ellie is trying- she will say words but for Emma it is very hard. I often get a blank stare back. Neither seem to have an inquisitive nature or an overwhelming desire to talk or learn. It makes home schooling even more of a challenge. We did a few things today- it went okay. We are just going to keep going until this too becomes familiar!
Our love for them is growing and so is the desire to communicate- I want to get to know them- I mean really get to know them. They are our daughters! It's not good enough any more to just be together. One problem is me! I am not all the chatty- I mean, I am often in thought, planning, figuring, deciding, etc. Since I am with the kids all the time my down time and quiet moments are also when I am with them. I can't talk 24/7 like some people can- it exhausts me!
I need to be patient. I need to enjoy the baby steps and persevere through this time of "little communication". It becomes kind of an abyss as they begin to lose the Chinese and slowly gain English. It can be a very frustrating time for everyone. Sarah had trouble remembering things from this time and I wondered if it was because she had no words to describe it. They lose their Chinese faster than they gain English.
The future is bright- there will come a time when they feel that this is HOME, the food will SATISFY their appetites, their parents will bring them COMFORT and the language will be FAMILIAR! China will be a distant memory, still a part of them BUT not their favorite part.