Monday, October 4, 2010

Raising Emma...

I have written and rewritten this post so many times that now I am feeling like I need to just write it and move on.

We have had a few rough weeks with our daughter Emma. The honeymoon has been over and she has attempted to regain control of her new world. Hubby and I were a little surprised at first but quickly jumped in to let our dear daughter know who is in control of this family. It is not her. it is God and we are following his lead!

We have seen a variety of symptoms and characteristics in our dear daughter that has made us wonder? Being an RN I look for answers, diagnosis and treatment plans. One minute I have concerns and then the next they subside, a little. Recently, others have mentioned their concerns to me. I new it before but their comments are just supporting my previous concerns.

We are seeking further medical support in hopes to find out what is going on and how to best help her.

With all that being said... Emma is making positive progress. I see her doing things that she could not previously do, such as alternately kicking her feet, trying hard not to smile when she is being corrected, increased attention span, learning how to hug an adult, wanting to kiss us like the other children, and the list goes endlessly on. Inside Hubby and I are screaming "thank you Jesus"! WE are so proud her, she is trying so hard.

When we decided to adopt special needs the one special need that concerned me the most was a cognitive delay/ unknown delays. Inside I secretly wanted to adopt a child with cognitive delays but I wasn't brave enough to sign up for the task. It didn't seem to be on hubby's radar so we moved on. Yet when we were told their was a high probability that both girls would have major cognitive delays we didn't believe the medical world and we moved forward, WHY? because they were our daughters! God showed us in every way he could, that they were ours!

Meeting the girls was a bit surprising. We were not sure what to think or what to expect in the future? I remember saying to myself... "I didn't sign up for this"... the voice that responded was clear and accurate "Oh, yes you did, this is exactly what you signed up for!" I was taken aback and left silent to meditate on the words I heard and how quickly the response came. 

I think one of the reasons our time in China was so challenging was because usually hubby and I take turns standing strong. We see one of us coping so well with the situation and it helps the other to rise to the occasion. In China neither of us rose to the occasion at least not right away. We both had to take a deep breath, pray our brains out and completely rely on our Lord! 

We look back now at the situation and we understand our responses. We are ready to stand strong now and we love our sweet daughters with all our hearts. They are delightful and they bless us every day!

Most likely we will share what the Doctors and all the evaluations say, so as to help others that are traveling a similar road. I am guessing it is just low IQ,  a variety of moderate delays and being a victim of life's circumstances. Emma is learning, it is going slow but she is making progress!

Hubby and I are so grateful for her in our lives. We are both up for the challenge and we are embracing it. Everyday we see progress- honestly it is thrilling!!

He said to me the other night that raising Emma may be one of the most fulfilling things we do in our lives! I like the sound of that!

Thank you Jesus for our daughter and for all our children!!


Sean and Lisa said...

Tears because I so get it. These girls will grow by leaps and bounds,no doubt, but honestly, so will you and your hubby. It's all good and all for His glory.

I absolutely love your husbands' comment. What an indicator of your hearts of love!
Much love!

Angie said...

Dear friend, there are so many of us that can relate! We go into adoption, perhaps, with one idea in mind, but God knows. And our children come to us needing exactly what God has equipped us to give. Praising God for his provision and plans!

Shonni said...

Thank you for sharing your journey with us!!!

Pam said...

Jean, I love your post and you and your DH are the PERFECT parents for Emma. Of that I have no doubt. I can't wait to watch her continue to blossom and grow.

"Are These Kids All Yours?" said...

Amen! We have some similarities as well with that.

From the Erben Gang..... said...

Thank you for sharing. You are so strong-by showing that sometimes you aren't. I love your journey. It is inspirational. xxoo

Adeye said...

I get it, friend. I am soooooo right there with you with my Haven. Been down that road you are beginning, as you know. It has changed my life from the inside out. Haven has changed me. In a GOOD way. I see thing differently since the Lord brought her into our lives. I have learned to have no expectations, but to trust the Father in the journey, knowing that His plans for Haven are so much better than I could ever dream of.

Right there with you. I know the Lord will equip you with everything you need to parent her WELL.

Love and hugs.

Sally-Girl! said...

This is exactly what happened with us when we adopted Bryson. We signed up for clubfeet that could be repaired, not arthrogryposis and bilateral hip dysplasia! But that was not what God had in store for us and what a wonderful ride it has been. Can't imagine a second without that precious boy in our lives and I believe because of him that is why we are now adopting our precious Gracie!!

Love you post!!! Love you!!!

Shonni said...

Bt the way, thank you so much for sharing our button on your blog!!

Gayle said...

Oh, Jean, I so get this! Isn't it awesome to have a network of others who are in the same boat? As you wouldn't change it for the world, it's not what you expected--and that's OK. Google the poem Welcome to Holland. It was written by a parent who had a child with Down Syndrome, I believe. Sometimes what is least expected brings us the most joy. We are having some really difficult days with Selah--the behaviors are so incredibly bizarre to us, yet we take comfort, as do you, that God has given US this child...He knows you are the mother for Emma and will honor your obedience in bringing her home. Richest blessings!!


Kelly said...

I don't have any adopted children, just the wish to do so one day. I totally identify with the idea that you didn't sign up for this.... our bio daughter was born "normal" and then at the age of 3 started having seizures. Turns out she had developed a rare brain disease and required surgery to disconnect half of her brain. We are now 5.5 years past surgery and although not what I would wish for any family, it has been fine. Her IQ is actually "normal" but she has reading issues, and of course looks like a kid with a stroke. Take each day as it comes, because even when you get to "sign up" or "get what you get" you can do what is required of you. Keep writing, I'll keep reading.