Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Dreaming, planning and preparing for the children!

Now that the holidays have passed- well, most of them that is- I find my thoughts going back to our two children in China.

I feel like I already know Sam. When we walk into the room I think I will be able to recognize him right away. The pics we have all look like the same little boy. I can picture him in my head and dream about him. It makes me even more excited to bring him home! I have bought him a few article of clothing! As you probably know each little step brings them closer to reality. To us this is all part of the bonding experience- the part you can do as you prepare to bring them home.

We think we may be the first to adopt from Sam's orphanage- there is no yahoo group for them and I cannot find a single family that has been there or has adopted from there. Their is no info on the internet- this is a first for us too as we have always been able to find out lots of info through the internet.

When I think of Ava- I am so excited BUT I do not have a clear picture in my head of who our little girl is? I find myself a little frustrated. I have a few pictures but they don't make sense to me. In one pic she has dimples but not in the others. In one pic she has thick short black hair and then in another her hair is very thin. She was in an orphanage near where she was abandoned and now she is with a foster family in the capitol city of her province. She is either 130 cm or 103cm?? They insist she is 130cm which makes her Ellie's height- Ellie is 8.5 and Ava is 5.5 yrs old. Ellie weighs 62 lbs and Ava weighs 39 lbs. She looks average size wise, not super skinny. Anna is 102cm and weighs 30 lbs. Actually, I would have thought she would be more in between Ellie and Anna, but from the info I have now- she is either one or the other???

I can't even put the pics in chronological order- it is so confusing...

I am completely baffled?? Sometimes I wonder if it is the same little girl HOWEVER her nose is the same in each pic- so it must be.

With all this conflicting information I am unable to buy her some clothes and to dream of her in our family.

I have thought about putting Ava, Anna and Sam in preschool for next year (2-3 afternoons per week). Yes, she will be a little old but not too much. They could learn so much there together and it would give me a moment to teach the older girls. If she is as tall as Ellie- she just wouldn't fit in, if she is a little bigger than Anna it would be perfect!

I try to guess her size by comparing her to the things around her in the pictures but I just can't get a feel for it.

With some of our past adoptions we are given so much info and then with others their are so many questions that are left unanswered. I do not get the feeling that they want to share much and it does bother me. We have asked for her size 3 times and each time they say- we told you she is 130 cm... it just doesn't make sense. I don't want to bother them or be a problem but it sure would be nice if they would remeasure- just once! The Dr that reviewed her file (in September) said he thought she may be older than what they say- I did not understand why he said that because at that point she was 102 cm??

We have been busy with our family, the holidays and the adoption process but I am feeling like I need to insist that they remeasure her once and for all and find out the accurate measurement. I need freedom to dream and to plan for our dear daughter. If you can, will you say a prayer that we get the information we want and need for Ava!


Danae said...

I will pray that you get some much needed answers.
I am so glad to know that there is another mother out there going through something similar to what I am.
We too are in the process of adopting two...a boy & a girl. I feel as if I know my daughter so well. Our son on the other hand, not so much and at times I kind of feel guilty about that. We have only found one other family that has ever adopted from his orphanage, the orphanage has been a little strange in how they give him our care packages and one set of pictures had my friends and family (& ME) asking if it was the same boy as our referral pictures. :-/

Blessings- Danae

"Are These Kids All Yours?" said...

Love the dreaming stage!!!!! Praying for clarification for you!

Rebekah said...

How frustrating for you! And even harder to prepare and to know what to expect. I will pray that you get some answers!

Holly said...

Wow, that is so frustrating. I will pray for you!

Janet and Kevin said...

Will pray for answers to your questions. Hope you get them soon.

janet and gang

Antinette said...

Dear Jean,

I've been following your blog for a few months now, love watching your girls grow. When we adopted our Hadley, now six, we went through the same thing. The finding picture we had turned out not be her, the finding place we were told about in our original paperwork was different from what the orphanage said when we arrived, her age was estimated, in one update she seemed to regress (we later found out she had open heart surgery at this time and wasn't even at the orphanage) so the information was fabricated... She was my first child and I dreamed about her non-stop and planned and hoped and prayed yet always felt this frustration about not knowing, just like you are describing. THe one thing I always thought about were her little hands- I dreamed about holding them in my own for the longest time and when I finally did all that frustration magically lifted and it was just me and my darling little girl. I hope you'll have that same peace soon. Thanks for sharing your life, love every minute of it. Best, Antinette Mama to Hadley

Serving the King said...

Ugh! How frustrating!! My friend that has got to be incredibly hard, I will be praying for peace to wash over you through these next few months until you can be there with both of them!

Sammy said...

Well they are cute even if you don't have the answers. You must be so excited.

Sarah said...

We had some crazy weights for Grace, where she weighed less than she had in a previous report. But, it was all cleared up when we found out that they weighed her in the winter with all of her clothes on. But height? I guess that she could have been measured with high heels. :)

a Tonggu Momma said...

Waiting - especially through the holidays - is SO hard, ESPECIALLY when you have so many unanswered questions. I can't imagine how frustrating this must be, especially when you need older sizes... our Tongginator's info was WAY off and we received little response when we asked for clarification, yet everyone else in our same group (same SWI) received an update and fairly accurate info. Maybe her foster family lives far away or is not particularly communicative? I know this was the case for us with the Tongginator's foster family.

TanyaLea said...

I can't imagine not having a clear picture of your daughter. We were so spoiled having Khloe at NewDay, that there was never any question. Especially since I already 'knew' her well before we pursued adopting her... I literally watched her grow up have a world away for nearly 2 years.

Oh Jean, I will be praying for CLEAR answers for you before you travel. But I know that in your heart, you fully rely on God and trust that He will guide you no matter what.

As usual, I am 'catching up' on posts again. The holidays left me in a blogging abscense. The best I managed to do were a couple quick 'greeting' posts and check in on FB a few times. I honestly don't know HOW you manage as busy as you have to be with all your beautiful girlies. I could learn a LOT from you! You must be one extremely organized mama!!

Praying you are enjoying your vacation... the warm sun and white sand beaches look SO inviting!

How I look forward to just sitting down and chatting with you one day. I have so many questions for you and just want to pick your brain. Any chance you will be at the playgroup on MLK day in a couple weeks? Khloe and I are planning to attend! ~ it will be our first 'real' play group since the party!! Yeah! :)

And for the record, you are clearing an amazing mom! Seriously you have to cut yourself some're girls have only been home since summer, and they have come a long way. Your patience and diligence inspire me, and I could see the confidence in that love when I was around your girls. Hang in there and keep pressing forward. You will certainly be in my prayers. Looking forward to seeing you again soon! Enjoy the remainder of your vacation.

Blessings and Hugs,
~ Tanya