Tuesday, April 19, 2011

How are they adjusting? Emma, Ellie and Anna!

It has been an interesting 2 plus weeks! We have seen a variety of reactions from all of the children.
Everyone was very excited when we returned home! We had American flags waving and tons of smiles and hugs!


This is a huge change for everyone BUT we are amazed at how well they have handled it! We see them wondering what is going on, what is MY future in this family AND what does this CHANGE mean to me. They don't verbalize it but it was written all over their faces...

As the Mom of this crew it made me a little sad. We made a point of reassuring everyone that they are ours forever and have been giving lots of hugs and kisses since we have been home! 


Emma was thrilled to see us and so happy we are home. She immediately accepting her new sister and brother. Then the concerns and stress hit her... another change?? What does this mean for me?? Mom, Dad and Sarah are sharing their time and attention with two more people now. Her natural smile left her face for about a week. She often blankly stared and looked confused. Emma is unable to tell us how she feels but she didn't have to we could see it. I was not feeling well and had jet lag- the first 2 weeks we just did the best we could.  The normalcy of Ava and Sam made Emma's disability so very apparent... I felt sad for her and frustrated for myself because I just didn't feel well... She would look at us with a frown and she stopped speaking.
Two weeks later- the frown is gone. Her face is relaxed and once again we see "her" smile! She is good with sharing her sibs and her parents! In fact it has been good for her in the sense that she will now chose others to play with instead of just wanting to follow Sarah. She is HAPPY and joyful!!  In fact she is actually doing better than ever right now!! We are thankful and thrilled!! THANK YOU JESUS!!  


Ellie was so happy to see us and have us home!! She immediately accepted her two new sibs! THEN the confusion started... Who are these two new kiddos anyways?? Remind me... why did we do this?? Sarah is not paying enough attention to me??? I think I need Mom and Dad to hold me and kiss me more?? Oh my? they can repeat sentences from Mom and Dad, I cannot? Her self esteem waived for the first two weeks. She almost had a fearful look on her face as if to say now that they are here will this family keep us?
I felt like I was hit in the face with a pie... This poor dear how could she even think such a thing? Oh ya- this has happened to them over and over again- of course she wonders what will happen next. She became quieter- she wasn't her giggly self. smiles where hard to come by...
Two weeks later- She is chatty again- it's not always understandable but she is trying to talk as much as she can! She is smiling smiling and happy! She is joyful! She is really trying to be a good big sister! She loves us so deeply and lets me know! Like her dear bio sis- she loves to be loved!! What a blessing God has bestowed upon us with these two girls!

Anna- Our first child home! So happy to see us and if she could have her way we would carry her until she was 18 yrs old!! Again, she was also very accepting and loving to her new sister and brother... unless they want her toys!! She is questioning where she should draw the line with these two?? It's a grey area and she knows it... She thinks she is the Jie Jie (big sister) but Ava is older and Sam is younger. However she has been home the longest- the new situation is just not logical to her... She tells them "I don't speak Chinese, I can't understand you?" I think she has had moments of feeling left out because of the language issue but that seems to get better with each day that passes.
She is not used to such a full house. Anna was in a foster home early on- all these children in one home- this is very different for her! 
Two weeks later- She still wishes she was older than Ava AND refers to herself as a Jie Jie! I have a hard time arguing with her when she is so helpful and shows Sam and Ava what to do! She does seek out quiet time away from the others. She may choose to play alone sometimes. She will go outside ONLY if she wants to, even if everyone else is playing outside. She will often find us for extra hugs and kisses. Sharing and not getting her own way are still tough for her... she is happy and does love playing with all her sibs especially Ava and Sam! The three of them are adorable together!!


As you can see!



Somehow they seem to work things out!


I'm just thankful they didn't spit on each other!


We had a few concerns the first week but already everyone is doing so well! The kids are all blending in and playing together. When one wants a little space they just create it and then join in with the others when they are ready!

We are a little surprised and very thankful!!

Next I will post on how Sarah, Ava and Sam are doing!

11 comments:

Shonni said...

I love reading a family’s journey. Thank you for sharing this with us! I just love your family so much and pray that we can actually meet some day...
but till then, here’s a cyber hug!
loves,
Shonni

"Are These Kids All Yours?" said...

Love hearing more about your family!!! Praying for the adjustments as the weeks continue :)

Sally-Girl! said...

Glad all are finding their way into your big loving home!!! YOu are such a good momma even with jet lag and sickness combined!! Loving you my friend!

Adeye said...

What a wonderful update. So happy to hear that each one of your blessings are adjusting to their new normal and that God is taking care of ALL the little details.

He's just so good like that.

Sarah said...

So glad that everyone is adjusting well. It looks like lots of fun at your house!

Susan A said...

Loved hearing how Emma and Ellie adjusted to the change over time, I'm so happy for all of your children that they have each other :)

Becky said...

These brushing the teeth pictures are just adorable! It's great to see how your family is blending together.

Sue said...

From the sounds of it, they are all doing great, You are a fab. mom and I thik all of them know how much you love all of them....

Renee said...

You have a wonderful family! Thank you for sharing!

Annie said...

Oh Jean, I just loved reading about all your precious ones!! It sounds like everyone is blending and figuring it all out, very nicely!! You have such a beautiful family:):)

Nicole A. said...

I am so glad for you all that they are doing really well! Do they love their beautiful room and sharing it together? I bet it will really hold fond memories for them all as they grow.

All the best,
Nicole A., now in LA