Sunday, April 10, 2011

How would you have answered this question?

Praise God for feeling better- I am not a good sick person. The world is not a bright place, the glass is empty and I long to be back to normal- BUT God delivered and I am on the mend!! Lot's of prayers (thank you very much)and  a new antibiotic And WHOLA, I'm back!! WoooHoooo!!

Today's thoughts are...
In China they look at our family and wonder "How can you take care of so many children? And Why are you better than an orphanage?"

This question came up numerous times while we were in China. It was asked by the Dr's at the health clinic, by nannies that care for the children, by directors of orphanages and by others.

I am not good at answering questions off the cuff and this one surprised me. I wanted to answer back- "well of course a home and a family are a better for a child than an institution and a nanny that needs to go home to her family." But that answer in this situation would not have worked.

Hubby and I tried our best to give everyone a "good answer". An answer that was a fit for them, that they could understand.

they included-
We love children, we love to raise them, see them grow and learn and bring joy into their lives.
We have good health coverage and can help them with their special needs.
Yes, we are Christian and consider these children a blessing in our lives. 

The two cultures are very different. Many of their beliefs are from long ago and set in stone. It is sometimes hard for others from a different culture to understand "why" we do this. 

In no way are we trying to be heroes. We do not think we are better but we do think we can offer the children that do not have parents a better life... one with parents...
A life where they are loved, valued, cherished and accepted.
Medical care that will give them a longer life, medications if needed, necessary surgeries and repairs and therapies that will give them a better quality of life.
A childhood filled with love and good memories.
A consistent set of parents that are there for them. (I have no problem with single parenting - so this includes them, too- someone- a Mom or Dad that is there for them)
An education that will help prepare them for the future.
No matter how many children their are they are treated equally for each circumstance. We really try to be fair and consider each child's needs.
They have siblings that are also their for them- to lean on, to ask question, for support through the tough times, fun or just a hug!

AND most importantly we can teach them about our Christian faith and they can have an opportunity to have a relationship with our Savior Jesus Christ.

Tell me your thoughts? How would you have answered this question? 


Lori said...

I think you summed it up perfectly!

So glad you are feeling better!

Pam said...

Perfect answer! I could not have said it any better.

Debbie said...

I'm not sure how I would have answered the question, but deep down I think they do know it is better to be with a family. Otherwise they wouldn't allow their children to be adopted out as is the case with some countries.

momof4boys said...

I tried to write a comment just moments ago and it wouldn't allow it through for some reason so I am trying again.
I was just saying that I am a stranger to you and I live in Northernmost Canada, Yukon.
I feel very inspired by your blog and follow it daily. I have a dream to adopt children since I was a little girl. I started with my step son which didn't end up so well as he had Reactive Attachment Disorder and Fetal Alcohol syndrome. I loved that little boy but as time went on and we had some little ones of our own, he became more and more unpredictable and violent. We eventually asked Social Services for help and they wouldn't help unless we gave up our parental rights. It was a sad day as we really did love him but we are in contact with him and he was in a home where he couldn't hurt anyone.
Still the dream of helping parentless children lives on in me and although now I know my limitations in what I can handle, I still dream of giving children a chance in a loving family.
I talked to my husband once again about it last night and he is so scared and reluctant. He has said he would pray about it but God would have to work a miracle for him to be on the same page as me. I am wondering if you would pray for us. I'm wondering if you could pray that God's will be done in our lives concerning more children. thank you so much!
And again, I hugely inspired by you and your family. God bless you abundantly.

Shonni said...

I’m glad that you are feeling better.
And those are great answers. I have dealt with this some too, and it is hard to explain this to someone who doesn’t “get it” and has different culture views.

Chris said...

I'm not sure why we didn't get questioned this time...maybe we stayed in too much. I know some people say we shouldn't be 'evangelizing' our children, BUT if we don't value our faith enough to share it with our children...what good is it?
I'm with you...consistent parent/s in a child's life is very important.

Anonymous said...

Dearest Jean - as *Always*, your response to the question is complete, and perfect. I so look forward to reading your blog each day, it is a bright and warm spot for me. I adore the pictures of your precious little treasures, and I hang on your every word, and your updates. I also wanted to say that it has brought me to tears to see the dramatic changes in Ellie and Emma. It is 100% evident on their beautiful faces, their smiles, and in their eyes. Your family makes me happy ! I'm so thankful you are feeling so much better. Always in my prayers, Lynne :)

Dr. D @ Curls and Twirls said...

Great answers, Jean.

Susan A said...

Beautiful pictures of your children! :)

To answer these questions? Just share that God loves orphans and He wants us to care for them and share with them Bible quotes, explaining that you love God and that you feel He is calling you to do this. :)

Matilda Joyce said...

I think you did a great job answering.

I was talking to one of my professors who adopted a daughter from Russia at age 4, and she said her daughter didn't understand what a parent was for when she brought her home. So another answer could be that you are helping them understand how to be parents themselves someday.

i love your blog - you are very inspirational!

David and Janet Hurley said...

You probably did better than me. And thanks for the heads up--we did not get questions beyond "how many do you have" and "wow", last Feb when we had 3 with us. On this year's adoption trip we will have 6 with us, I'll be prepared for such questions=)

Angie said...

Not sure as I don't think quickly on my feet. But I do know you have Jesus...that's something they didn't have there and a pricesless gift you're giving them.

Family said...

You said it exactly as I would want to say it!

Sammy said...

This is not just about family, but we have had a guide friend from Guangzhou for a long time. We always see her when we go back. She has been with hundreds of adoptive families. She didn't really get why the kids are better off here until she got to visit the US. She acted like she was in shock. After her trip her she wanted me to adopt more and more. She would say "Sammy you can change their life." It was just seeing things like our kids get up in the morning and go fix themselves a bowl of cereal. She had come here to see it though.

Dawn said...

I know many foster families in China love their foster kids and I feel sorry that some of them can not adopt their foster kids. When we adopted from Vietnam is was very different... they KNEW a family was better then growing up in an orphanage. Your answers were great. Stressing that adopted kids become OURS is one thing I feel strongly about. I was always asked "why" when you have YOUR OWN? But we are asked that HERE in America too. Some do not get it for is a matter of heart.

"Are These Kids All Yours?" said...

I think you did pretty well in answering that question. God ordained families....he wanted there to be a permanency for children...not workers who get paid and go home. Children should be given someone round the clock that WANTS to be there. Someone who needs them as much as they need us. A family that is bonded to love at all costs and at all times....even when it gets tough. Workers will have favorites and when it is tough easy to say that they don't have to love "that" child as much after all it is only a "job".

Kristy said...

One of the elders at our church has 9 adopted children.He said this morning how he sometimes hears backlash for what the Lord has called his family to do. He said sometimes he hears people say "oh they just do that for attention." He chuckled and said, I can promise you there are a lot easier and less expensive things to do for attention than this...:)

Janet and Kevin said...

Perfect answer dear friend. :)

Janet and gang

Wife of the Pres. said...

Great answers Jean. I love how someone shared their guide had to come here to get it. Not that we are better, but that FAMILY is better.

As for Julie in Canada above, I WILL pray. I hope she sees this. God can work this miracle in her DH's heart.


TanyaLea said...

I think you did very well. A few words come to mind...

AMEN, Sista... AMEN!!!

Seriously though, I can only imagine how hard it was in that situation. Who expects to be hit with questions like that and so "on the spot"... You handled them very well. It's hard with the cultural differences to explain how deeply that the things that burden Christ's heart, burden your's, as well. But your life is a living testimony! <><

Blessings and Hugs,
~ Tanya

Chris said...

As usual, I am touched by your candidness, and love your love for the children!
It has been a blessing to follow along on your journey to Sam and Ava
So blessed to see 2 more have forever families-to me, that is one of the biggies-along with the opportunity to meet and fall in love with their Savior!

Annie said...

I cannot think of any better way! You rocked it, Jean!!! Wonderful post!