Friday, October 7, 2011

Mom, Help me!

Anna says as she walks up to me with blood and goop dripping from her nose.

Yesterday she looked good. 

Today she is more swollen and disfigured. She doesn't recognize herself in the mirror. She doesn't like what she sees. Twice today she asked me to "help her" clean up.

The other children are wondering why Anna "gets to eat" jello, applesauce, mac n cheese, yogurt and scrambled eggs. Even though they get it too, it seems unfair? Why does Anna get to sit on Mom's lap during school and then watch TV?

They don't understand that Anna is uncomfortable, that she would love to have the apples and carmel like them, play outside on the trampoline and not have bloody stitches on her face. I am hoping that they are developing a sense of compassion through Anna's experience, not sure they will BUT hoping!

I am loving cuddling her and at the same time am in awe that our dear children don't understand that when a child doesn't feel well their parents love and care for them.

I am certain that each of them have developed an "off the scale" pain tolerance because when they hurt no one cared... no one helped them and no one loved them...

It is heartbreaking, they need so much love... I pray that we can fill their "love bucket" and that they will someday understand that "their children" will need the same TLC when they are sick, or injured, or sad, or in need??

I am getting so much on the job training! My first thoughts are not always correct but in time I seem to get it! I love it and am so thankful for this opportunity!

The plastic surgeon told us that families often cry when they see their children... not because they are so thankful BUT because they don't recognize them. I mourned the change before it happened and really feel she looks great. She also said that often times the children are upset because they don't recognize themselves. I think Anna is feeling some of this- "why did we do this?" and embarrassment over the scabs, drainage and stitches on that cute little face of hers...

Looking forward to decreased drainage and swelling!

I think she's going to need to sleep with her Mommy and Daddy again! ;-)


"Are These Kids All Yours?" said...

Awww....sweet baby girl.....praying for her heart....and your other kiddos hearts too. :)

Sarah said...

Praying for you sweet baby. She is so beautiful.

Cari said...

Awe, sweet Anna! I can totally relate to what you said at the end of your post about mourning what they used to look like. I did with our Sami after her surgery this past February. She wouldn't look at herself in the mirror for two weeks after surgery because she did NOT like the change. She's used to it now, but on the 19th of this month we are going back for another palate surgery and possible a correction to her lip. Regardless of our girls cl/cp, they are so adorable! How is Anna's speech? People struggle to understand what Sami says but her palate reopened after her last surgery so we are hoping that after this surgery it will stay closed and help improve her ability to speak clearer.

Rebekah said...

Hope she is feeling better soon. Stuff like this is such a big deal for everyone to work through physically and emotionally. And family dynamics add a totally additional layer to the situation.

We had a big surgery in our family this week, and I have thought several times how it is such a good opportunity for all of us to grow in compassion and patience and service. Isn't it something how the Lord uses ALL things to grow us to be more like him?!