Wednesday, August 15, 2012

A Glimpse...



At least once or twice each day we have a conversation that stops me...
and causes me to ponder...
When will they really understand?
Am I forgetting what it was like when our birth children were younger?
Am I forgetting the conversations that we had with them, way back when?

Did they ask question like this?? 
(like our new children ask?)

I don't think I am forgetting... 
I think this comes with older child adoption.

They ask questions that we would we wouldn't even consider asking.
The ones that children often just pick up from being with us since birth.
The questions that don't quite make sense.
The conversations that are circular in nature.

We answer their questions while using a limited vocabulary hoping they can understand the answer we give, only to realize they stopped listening before we even started...
And then that same question reappears a few moments later...

The fact that they take everything literal... still... after being home for a couple years.

 And we often have to tell them "this is funny, you can laugh".
or
okay, hold it, that's not funny... no laughing!

EVERY SINGLE DAY
I cock my head to the side and think to myself-
did she really say that?
did I just hear what I thought I heard?
or 
how on earth am I supposed to answer that one?

This morning Sarah came into the bathroom as I was getting ready.
The TV was on and the advertisement was saying that many Americans were disappointed in our current President. That they felt he was not doing a good job and they would not vote for him in November.

Sarah came over to me and said in a very quiet serious voice:
Mom, does "he" know that? Has anyone told him?

Ummm, Ummm...
Yes, honey, 
I, I, I think he does know.


The other day Ellie was following Abby around the house saying to her (in her broken english)- I want my build- a- bear's purple dress back; you need to find it and give it back.
Abby was enjoying the moment and toying with Ellie...
Huh, well... she said,
I'm going outside
soooooo
SORRY ;-)
but she wasn't sorry, 
not one tiny bit!
As they both came around the corner...
THE ENFORCER was standing there (that would be me;-)




Abby looked at me and it was written all over her face-
BUSTED...
she said "Oooohhhhh, Hi mom!"
"Hi Abby..."
Now, what are you going to do, Abby?
You need to do the right thing!

The look on her face said,
And what would that be?

So I filled in the blank
You need to find the dress and give it back to Ellie...
and she very begrudgingly said, Okay Mom...



A couple weeks ago Sarah and I were talking in the car. She was saying that she was very excited to drive someday.
I told her driving is a big responsibility and that she had a lot to learn before she would be driving a car.

....a few minutes later she said

I better get started now...
there's so much to learn...
I think I'll start with the tires!

Huh? The tires?

Really? The tires?

Ever since she came home 3.5 years ago she has had a fascination with tires? I don't know why? I don't get it but the tire discussion comes up almost every week...
They are so big and they are so strong, is there anything stronger than tires mom? ahyiyi!

I did say to her, forget about the tires, you she should start by paying attention to where we are driving and what the signs on the road mean.

Our neighbor wants Sarah to watch her two younger children when they are out playing- I do not want her to take on that responsibility. Even though they think she is ready- she is not ready. Her judgement and common sense still have a long way to go.
She is wonderful, helpful, pleasant and social BUT not ready to be fully responsible for another human being.

So this is just a glimpse into our reality!
It is definitely entertaining!
I often find myself chuckling inside and hoping to remember so I can share it with hubby (and you)!

What's your reality looking like?


And now I would love to share with you my friends blog!

She is fundraising to bring home her little boy from China!
Oh my goodness, he is so cute!!
They really need our help and they are completely putting their trust in the Lord! Please be the hands and feet of our Lord and help this dear family! Every little bit counts!

Please prayerfully consider helping Kristy and her family!

They are hoping to leave in 18 days- so the countdown is on!

If you are unable to donate PLEASE pray for them!

6 comments:

Rebecca said...

Oh my goodness:) forgive me for giggling. That was so funny. I love the conversation about the tires. I would really love just a hint of what we are in for with our girls. Posts like this give me that. Thx for sharing!

David and Janet Hurley said...

Today, Wes, age 8, home 2.5 years..I asked if there had been something on his head--a section of hair was seperated funny. He looked at me funny, I repeated the question. He said "this head?" as he pointed to his head-----no Wes, your OTHER head!!

ourchinagirls said...

I will pray for Kristy's family. I think that they should be able to get a low interest loan. Or maybe a mortage on their house? We are in the middle of adopting our SIXTH daughter from China and we are totally strapped for money. Unfortunately we are over qualified for grants, family and friends think we are NUTS and we have already taken a loan out against our home. We are going to be selling things on Ebay, having 31 product and Scentsy parties, and a large garage sale. We will still be $10,000. short for this, our last, adoption. But we will do what we have to do. She has our hearts...if I have to sell everything I can..she will come home!!

Jerry and Christy said...

Jean,
Thank you for posting this about the unbelievable questions. Our daughter does this too. She has been home for 9 months and my husband and I can't believe what she is asking. She is 13 years old, but in many ways much younger. It helps to know that this is "normal" for an older adopted child.
Blessings,
Christy

Janet and Kevin said...

That is our reality, too! Very funny (at times) questions. Our children's perception of reality is little different being adopted at an older age. When Sophia first came home, she didn't have any common sense or thinking ability. She is gradually developing both, and it is exciting to see!

:)
janet and gang

Jenny said...

I have the same with my older, adopted kids....My favorite is when I sent 11 year old Ben to take off the cover of the sand-box for his 3 year old brother. He did it and came back in and told me, "Mom, there's black widows in the sand box; do you still want him to play in there?" I have a hard time not replying, "really?" Ok, sometimes I do reply, "really?"
Jenny
www.ourplansmultiplied.blogspot.com