Thursday, April 25, 2013

Awkward . . . is GONE!

When adopting older children. . .
there are so many awkward moments.


I am not a fan of awkward. . .


it makes me feel . . 

awkward.

(okay, I do have to laugh a little at these two photos!)

I know that some adoptive parents love the moment they meet their child.

While others love the time in China.

Often the first few months are magical!
(mostly with first time adoptions and first child adoptions)

It was magical the first time but after that the magic happened later
(every bit as magical, just later)!

These are not my favorite times.

I feel so weak, so uncertain, so out of my element and so vulnerable.

I pray constantly from the moment we leave our house until we once again set foot in our home with our new children.

And then I realize I can't stop praying now!
We've only just begun!!

With our adoption experiences God has me right where HE wants me,
completely depending on HIM.
On my knees and completely dependent.
Being completely dependent on GOD is good.
I know HE will not leave me.
And HE never does.
It is scary and awesome at the same time.


Once home,
there are always a multitude of feelings from the new children, the children currently at home, the older bio kids that are taking it all in and from us, the new parents...

They feelings are often
confusion, uncertainty, exhaustion, frustration-
as we search for some kind of new normal.

They are definitely not my favorite feelings.

BUT NOW

AT THIS POINT 
of the adoption journey,

it's different!


It's better!

It's better than better!

It's wonderful!

We have been home for 3 months and now we are settling in!

And from previous experience...

IT ONLY KEEPS GETTIN BETTER!

I love this part!

I. LOVE. THIS. PART!

The silent moments aren't awkward.
Trying to stumble and laugh through communication- is fun and funny, now.
We can just look at each other and smile, nothing more or less, just smile when our eyes meet!

When they are going to the Dr or dentist- they get it and they aren't afraid. We aren't going to leave them anywhere. They go and come home with us.

I can call a spade a spade.
When someone isn't telling me the truth I can simply let them know, that I know the truth. . .
so fess us!

They not afraid that we will be mad or that "that's it" they've blown their chance and they are outta here.
(how very sad)
They are beginning to trust.
They are trying to please us.
They are happy and they like happy!
And we like happy!

And right now they are all trying to tease me and trick me-
of course,
I fell for it...
They got me!

We can laugh together! 
They even think I am funny!
(It's so much different from when they could hardly look at me. . .
and I was sure they were saying to themselves or each other - Really God, this is the best you could do? and then the Mommy shopping began!)



The children that have been home are feeling more secure.
Those new sisters didn't come as replacements.
We are all staying.
WHEW!

We actually are going to ALL be a family!


Have we arrived completely?
 No,
not yet,
there's always work to be done!

BUT we are on course!

This is a beautiful time and I LOVE IT!

Feeling so thankful for this "time"!

Someday, 
someone,
 has to figure out the 
"Stages of Adoption"!
Because there are definitely stages
and we are liken the one we are in!

9 comments:

Rebecca said...

I understand... Completely! China was miraculous for us. Meeting our new girls was so fun. They were amazing... But it was somewhat awkward. I am finally feeling like I can sit back and relax and breathe. At first I just wanted to fix everything all the time for everyone... Now I am comfortable letting the chips fall and trusting that the foundation has been laid and we are a family now. God has done amazing things and its all going to be ok! I feel as if I've removed the training wheels and allowed my children to go on to the next step. There have been a few mishaps, but nothing that hugs and kisses can't mend:)

Karen Twombly said...

I'm so happy for you!! I agree with the "awkward"! AND I would love to see "stages" too, especially for adopting older children and sibling group adoption!

Donna S said...

Happy to hear your new normal is feeling well...normal! Must be time to add another one ;)

Joy Altman said...

Beautiful post, Jean! I am so happy for you and so happy for your children. Our God is faithful!

Sarah said...

I'm so glad!!!

Renee said...

Yay! I know just what you mean. It's great to be able to exhale.

Annie said...

LOVE this post Jean! I have a feeling it will help me greatly when we are there and having tons of those awkward moments!!! Thank you!

Cindy Dy said...

I was guessing if You Could write a little more on this subject? I'd be very grateful if You Could elaborate a little bit more.

Sherly
www.gofastek.com

Leslie Lim said...

Wow. Awesome article. Please do more articles like this in the future. Very informational and knowledgeable. I will expect more from you in the future. For now i will just bookmark your page and surely I'm gonna come back later to read more. Thank you to the writer!


Rica
www.imarksweb.org