I'm looking forward to the follow up posts on this topic. This is my new reality right now, and I'm floundering a bit.
We are living this in China, right NOW. I felt prepared to handle a significant delay. I had not prepared myself for a 2-year-old's actions and emotional instability in a 10-year-old body: trying to turn on and off every light at bed time, pushing things over for attention, turning on the hot water and sticking her hand in it apparently for attention or ???, "fake" crying? and wailing when she is unhappy about something, flopping on the floor or ground because she wants to be carried, dumping water out on the floor for attention, howling like a monkey...the list goes on. We were at the police station Monday for the passport application for our younger son, and I swear the guard there was keeping a close eye on us because she was acting out the ENTIRE 40 minutes or so. We are trying to think of and honor her feelings of needing security and some babying. However, we have two other younger children who also need at least SOME attention, one also newly adopted, one adopted 3 years ago who still feels insecure and jealous at others getting our attention. I would LOVE to hear from you for coping mechanisms for yourself/myself, and what things helped calm your girls' fears.Heather
Jean, Do you think that perhaps the lack of confidence in the usage of the English language may lend towards a lower cognitive index, so to speak? Lack of perceived ability to express themselves adequately? Both girls are perfect in the eyes of the Lord. They are beautiful!
That was a beautiful article. We have a daughter from the Philippines who was 5 at the time of her adoption almost 6 years ago. While we knew she was delayed, we blamed it on five years of institutionalization. It turned out that she also has a low IQ. She is a 3 year old in an almost 11 year old body. But she is our great joy. We mourned for the loss of the child we thought we would have but are thankful to God that he brought this child into our lives. What a blessing from him. Times were very hard, times we felt like giving up. To those of you experiencing this now, hang in there. The rewards will be worth it.
One of the problems is that China is lying about these kids in their referral paperwork. We adopted a 6 year old that was "on target developmentally" according to her referral and an updated report that we asked for. She is a toddler in a 6 year old body and may always be. We would not have pursued her had we been told the truth. I am happy for the families who can find joy in a child with mental disabilities. We do not have the resources, family or patience to follow her 24/7. And then when she started trying to kill our small animals it was too much. Let alone the fact that I found out I had breast cancer. The stress was killing me! She is now in a family who loves her for her.
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