I truly love homeschooling the children and being with them throughout the day!
It is a blessing to have that time together and to be able to teach them.
I love watching them learn and grow.
For some of the children it happens rapidly with very little effort while others need to work hard and repeat, repeat, repeat what they are learning. It can sometimes feel like it is happening at a snails pace BUT it is happening and it's still very exciting and rewarding!
A couple of our children have hit learning snags.
Maybe they have reached their potential or maybe it's time to learn in a new environment.
Homeschooling 13 children ages 14 - 5 is challenging and wonderful but we are feeling like it is time to change it up a bit.
Emma had been in school for this last fall semester but once we moved she wanted to stay home.
With all the changes that were happening in our lives it felt like a good choice.
(moved homes, new school district, 2 new boys from China joining our family, and our first grandchild on the way)
But now, we are settled and have acclimated to our new home, schedule and family.
I am learning more and more every day about having a child with a severe cognitive disability.
There are days that are so rewarding and heartwarming where I can see God at work.
And their are days that are heartbreaking and exhausting.
The truth is
I simply need a break...
I need someone who is trained in educating severely cognitively disabled children.
And the good news is we happen to live in the perfect state for that!
Minnesota excels when it comes to special ed!
Thank you Jesus!
I have seen Emma light up when a kind teacher greats her with a smile at the beginning of the school day!
I have also had the pleasure of meeting her at the end of the school day and feeling excited to see her.
I need that feeling back.
She has regressed lately and the constant stares that come my way are wearing on me.
Emma is unable to entertain herself. She is back to standing in one place or aimlessly roaming around unless I consistently give her something to do.
She has not spoken for weeks unless we insist that she answer us with her voice.
She is content but she is not blossoming.
Just so you understand Emma's cognitive disability is severe and she needs constant supervision.
She is able to be in our home without me in the room but she cannot leave our home without an constant adult supervision.
She will always be unable to live independently.
We feel that Emma needs interactions outside of our family in order to learn appropriate responses.
Along with Emma we have enrolled Ellie in school for the fall too.
It has not been an easy decision and has come with much prayer.
I have been determined to keep Ellie at home because I was seeing slow BUT positive growth in her academics and personal character.
But adolescents has changed that and she is now self conscious and becoming more insecure as her younger sibs quickly pass her by... in every area.
She no longer desires to please her parents and continue to try her hardest but instead will shut down and not risk being outdone by someone else.
Sometimes she realizes that she is doing this but she is unable to react differently.
Our neuro psych Dr and OB/GYN said this may happen.
She is more aware of her disability and it saddens and frustrates her,whereas Emma is not aware of it.
Ellie is prone to suffer from depression.
She wants the life that everyone else has but can never quite seem to get there…
We have tried many different activities, educational plans and home remedies but it is not helping and she needs to feel the joy of a special ed teacher greeting her Monday-Friday with a smile on her face and a daily learning plan specialy designed for her!
It actually has been hard on this Momma's heart to see the changes and I have tried to pray and wish them away but they are what they are and we need to help her with where she is at…
As a parent of these two dear children, I need to not do what I want but do what we feel is in their best interest.
I would prefer that we are all homeschooled but
I can't meet all their needs right now.
Remember at the beginning of this post I said some of the children need to repeat, repeat, repeat what they are learning. We will need to figure out where they are at and if they will need additional services in our home. If are unable to provide these additional services than we will need to seek outside help for them, too.
I do see a possibility of both girls coming home at some point in the future. It would most likely be for a short period of time but here I go... planning to far ahead… again...
I need to be peaceful and let God decide!
It just works better that way.
We love our children and we are thankful to have options when it comes to their education!