Tuesday, July 8, 2014

The Good, The Bad and The Somewhere In Between

I like to keep things positive and the truth is most of our life is positive.
The children are thriving and blossoming and it is a joy to have a front row seat to God's miracles!

But not everything in life is perfect and joyful.
We have struggles just like everyone else.
We have issues that we work on with certain children and we have necessary areas of growth as parents to birth children and children with a variety of needs.

As we walked the road of new parents(30 yrs ago) with our first five I would always have a mentor.
A friend that I respected that had BTDT.
I had many questions and they were always so helpful.
Whether we ended up doing it there way, someone else's way or our own way it was just so good to hear what worked and what didn't work for them.

Adopting older children is kind of a new thing and there are very few BTDT parents.
(Actually if you know of any please encourage them to start a FB group for those of us that are currently muddling their way through this new phenomenon). 
I am blessed to have a groups that are on the road with me!
We support each other, redirect, clarify when necessary and pray for one another.
Whether it's just a bad day, a small issue or a big issue that they, we, I need help with…
there is some place to go.
I also have a close friend that is experienced and an amazing resource.

I think it is important to keep things real so that's why I am writing this post.
In fact it should really be a regular part of my blog and I may make it just that…

Some of the issues I want to write about are

1. They Either Love Us or They Hate Us… Large Families.

2. Myths and Truths of Older Child Adoption…

3. My Truth About Lying…

4. The Many Challenges of Parenting Older Adopted Cognitively Disabled Children

Now, don't get your hopes up. You know I am not a very good writer and of course they will be no research involved- and the content will be just what I have observed and what I think.

Plus even though they may seem like slightly negative topics, they are not and they need to be discussed… I will not present them in a negative way.

So you decide!
Leave a comment regarding which one I should blog about first.

Thank you!

31 comments:

Anna said...

We adopted a precious older son six months ago...so I would love if you blog about topic number 2. All your posts are so special and your positive, Christ-honoring attitude always lifts my spirit. Thank you for taking the time to write admist all your demands.
www.tranquilityofspirit.blogspot.com

Kat said...

We are a large adoptive family as well. I second the thought of a Facebook Group (smile). The topics need to be spoken about. You have a big AMEN from me!

mesphe said...

Myths and Truths of Older Child Adoption, please. Our sweet boy will be almost 8 when he comes home.

Joy Altman said...

Jean, thank you so much for your willingness to share your wealth of knowledge and to come alongside other APs. I appreciate that so much. I have a friend who is in the middle of her first adoption journey, and will soon bring home a ten-year-old daughter. I am making sure she is reading your blog! :)

Danae said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Danae said...

#4 please...

Kirstin said...

I vote for:
2. Myths and Truths of Older Child Adoption…

We will bring home our 8 year old daughter from China this fall, Lord willing. Thank you for sharing your experiences, Jean. I check your blog often and soak up your stories and experiences hungrily as we wait and prepare for our daughter to come home!

Chris said...

Hands down, I NEED # 4
but, I will read anything you write, so....

Janet said...

#4 for me too. Our's turns 11 this month.

Sean and Lisa said...

I'd love to hear your take on #3! Lying is a major issue for our son and nothing has seemed to help change it. Love your beautiful family! :)

mewohlwend said...

I'll vote for #1 (large families), but would be thrilled to read about any of those topics :)

Stacy said...

#4!!
Adopted an aging out 14 year old 3 years ago! Very hard!!!
But then again….I read anything you write.
: )
Love ya!!

Lynnea Hameloth said...

#4 is where we are at. But they are ALL great. Looking forward to hearing what the Lord has give you to share. You are a great mentor and I appreciate your openness and honesty. Blessings!

Kristi said...

Thank you for sharing! Two adopted from China in our family. We are still working with our 7 year old adopted from China a year ago. She does not always tell the truth and has sensory integration issues. Would love to hear your truth about lying! I read your every post! So helpful as we navigate through issues.

Tesseraemum said...

Myths and truths.

Wendy said...

#4 for sure. Also would love to hear your thoughts about lying. That seems to be an issue with one of our children. Thanks for being there and being real!

Shelia Jacoby said...

Jean, first of all thank you for being real. Your family is beautiful (all 18 of them) and I enjoy your blog above all others. We have adopted 13 months, 3 years 8 months & one month shy of age 14. I almost chuckle that anyone considers a child 7 or 8 years old and "older" child. I always think..."add 6 more years to the issues you are dealing with"...now that is an OLDER child adoption indeed. But, at the same time, sometimes issues are what they are regardless if a child is 7 or 14. I would be interested in what your experiences are regarding the myths, realizing that my myths or truths may not be the same at all. When we adopted an almost 4 year old 8 years ago, that was considered an older child. She has been a jewel from day one and I would take 10 of her.

Thank you!

Shelia

Lisa and Tate said...

I think discussing these subject will be great. I would love to hear about the myths of adopting older kids.

Diane said...

#3. My Truth about Lying... I would love to hear your perspective.

Karen said...

Sure would like to hear remarks on #4. Our daughter is 13 (14 in November) and has been home just 7 months. I just don't know where to start with trying to figure out what's going on with her.

Jennifer P said...

I'm ALL in. Truth about lying....is that a conundrum?

Life with the Akin Clan said...

Myths and Truths!

Chris said...

Write on any or all of the topics!

Heather said...

Please myths nd truths of older child adoption! We are bringing home n eight yer old. We need your advice!

~Monica Utt~ Itty Bitty Land said...

http://wwwourchinagirl.blogspot.com/

She is great if you need some feedback on BTDT!!!

Shecki Grtlyblesd said...

I have a large family (well, not compared to you, lol, but it's double the size of what some people consider a large family) so I'm much more interested in parenting a cognitively disabled child. Our youngest from China is profoundly delayed, and it's really turned our family upside down.

dawn said...

Older Child adoption please! We are adopting a 13 year old girl. I would love to hear what you have to say. Thank you!

Janet and Kevin said...

Any of them would be great. I think keeping it real isn't negative. It is a positive in that others going that same path can see support and direction in the words of others who have btdt! Older child adoption would be a good beginning!

Learning Together at Home said...

I would love all of the above. I am not looking for research, but reality. We have a small family (6 kids) compared to yours but as I often say no matter how many children in a daily, they will be all consuming! I so appreciate it when you relate things as they truly are. I know I'm not the only one blessed by it!

Chantelle said...

Number 3!

Holly said...

#4 and all the rest:)