Monday, December 3, 2012

Our Oldest Adoption

Sometimes I question older child adoption ?

I wondered if our Mia was part of... the scandal?

Before Mia,
 our oldest adoption was at 8 yrs old- Sarah and Ellie.
Emma was 10, however she was profoundly cognitively disabled, 
it was a different situation than most adoptions.
I do plan to post an update on Emma, soon.

So I asked our children what they think?

Are they happy to be home OR do they miss China and everything about it?

And there is...


They are so thankful to...

They do not remember their family from while they were in China.

Actually, I sometimes wonder if Emma does?
I get mixed messages from her regarding her memories.
Whatever memories she may have...
they are NOT happy memories.

one thing is for certain... 

 of our children wishes they were back in their native country.

to be home!

with US!

And, I am so thankful for that!

Mia has many friends that are home now.
I am guessing she is getting ready for the transition.

of them are HAPPY to be HOME
and to have a FAMILY!

Our children at home, want parents, they want love, they want to learn, to experience life, to love others, to know about Jesus, to love GOD and pray freely.

I am praying that Mia will desire this also.

She will be our oldest adoption.
She is currently 11 yrs old.
We hope to make her 10 yrs old 
have learned from other families.
that it will be very difficult...

Praying for her adjustment and for the adjustment of our other new daughters, as well as those at home!

We have never adopted a child Mia's age (11 yrs old) or older, so our experience is limited.

The challenges are great- what ever the age of the child and even greater when they are older.
Our God is faithful and will not leave us in times of need. 
In fact,
 THAT is when he is closest to us.

Praying for all the adjustments as our time grows NEAR!


Sarah said...

These are such wonderful pictures of your beautiful daughter! I am quite confident that you and your hubby will be amazing parents to precious Mia!

Laurel said...

I must share that the child's age isn't nearly as important as their past life experiences (trauma) when it comes to attachment/bonding etc... Not including infant adoption, whether a child is 8, 10, or 12 doesn't make much difference in our experience.

We adopted 3 kids from Ghana, bringing them home at ages 6, 9, 12. The day we picked them up at the orphanage, we found out that they were really probably 8, 12, 15. We had to find a new home for the 15 year old brother, as he had been m*lesting his little sister for many years. The then-12 year old has adjusted MUCH better than the then-9 year old. Because of the past trauma, the younger sister has had a much more difficult time.

I also must ask why you want to change her age from 11 to 10. First of all, 1 year doesn't seem like it would make that much of a difference. (But would love to hear your thoughts on this.) Secondly, we have had multiple "Issues" because our children's ages were changed by the orphanage. While they are "small", and not as "social" as their same-age peers (justification to lie to us about their ages and forge their birth certificates by the orphanage) . . . making them younger brought it's own set of issues.

They both started their periods at age 9 (their changed ages). They both know they are older. They both want the privileges that they believe would come with being older (while not emotionally ready for those privileges). As a now "14" year old, our older daughter, while very short, definitely looks older (which she is).

Sorry for the rambling. Just a lot of thoughts tonight . . .

Hope you get to bring the kids home soon.

mama of 12

ourchinagirls said...

I think you should wait at least a year before you change her birthdate. There are many smaller children in China. She could be one of those kids. Could she be smaller because of her special need? Get to know her before you change the date. I have two daughters from China who are 4 months apart in age and the size difference is remarkable. Besides it should be easier to change the age later on after you have more concrete proof.

julie said...

Hi Jean,
Our Mia (adopted at 9 1/2 years old) has nothing good to say about China. She tells us all the time "Never, never, China. No want to go back". And the heartbreaking thing that she says...."No one in China loved Mia, here everyone love Mia". It brings tears to my eyes everytime she says that.

Sammy said...

We have changed ages, but I think you need to make the decision after you meet the child. It is not difficult at all to change ages!! We have done it 3 times. Our older adopted kids all wanted to be adopted. You do have to be prepared to change some behaviors, but I know you are wonderful and won't have any problems dealing with it. All my kids have had abuse, but I would say their "issues" have worked out fine and fairly fast. I'm the kind of person that just tells them the truth and teaches them to be thankful for what they have now.

Your new daughter really is a doll!!

Sue said...

Jean, as you know with me adopting an 13 year old. We talked about it. Just make sure you keep your eyes open and ears open and be willing (which I already know you will) to ask for help. Mia looks so happy and healthy and I pray this will help with the transition. It was great seeing you.

Annie said...

Praying for the Lord to begin to ready her heart dear Jean! She will be well loved, that is for certain! Bless you sweet friend!