Friday, April 3, 2015

Heartbroken- Updated

This is a post I was praying I would never have to write.

We are completely heartbroken...

We have been in battle against the opposition for quite awhile...

We have done absolutely everything we could do 
but every time something "kinda good" happened it was followed by bad...
It has been an emotional roller coaster.
At time it was so hopeful and then 
our hopes were snatched away...

Our Lord knows we have 
fought the good fight.

He knows that we could not give up until we had done absolutely everything we could possibly do to adopt Grace and Jacob.

I do not feel very "mature" right now.
I just want my two kids home.

I can't imagine that they won't be coming home.

I know I should be way more mature and Godly but
I am just not ready to be, what I should be...

We are still hurting, sad, sickened, confused, upset, down in the dumps...
Tears flow so easily...

We are praying for healing hearts... and for the two children to find their family asap.

We are so thankful for all of your prayers.
God knew this story before us, He was with us every step of the way showing us signs of comfort and hope.

GOD is so much bigger than all of this.
HE has beautiful plans.
Plans to help us, not harm us.

We look forward to brighter days.
We look forward to serving our Lord 
in what ever direction 
guides us towards.

We praise you dear God.
We are so thankful to you!

We would love it if you could send us comforting words and/or uplifting Bible verses!

I cannot share any details right now because we are still in the "grips" of the enemy.
He uses people to hurt others, he hates adoptions and he hates all that is good and Godly.
I hope to someday be able to share our story (I would like to know if other have things like this happen to them, and gain wisdom and support) but right now it would be harmful.

For now we will leave it at-
life is unfair.
We have had an jaw dropping unfair experience.
Our agency has supported us throughout this roller coaster.
They have been patient and kind.
We are thankful for that...
And YOU dear friends have been so kind and prayerful for us-


Jennifer P said...

I am so sorry for your heart breaking. Life in this world makes no sense sometimes. Continuing to pray for the children that will be in your heart always.

Unknown said...

Jean, I am really sorry for what has happened. Grace and Jacob would have been so blessed by your family and other children. I hope they will quickly be adopted by a loving family. I know you wanted to be their family, but I know you want them to be home quickly with a family who will always love and care for them.

Judy Deaton said...

Jean, I am so sorry to hear that those 2 little ones won't be blessed by your family. I will pray that whatever family they are adopted into, that you would somehow be able to be a part of their lives. I know how hard this is for you. We were in the process of adopting, and our boy was taken off the list, deemed unadoptable, because at 9yrs (5 in mentality) HE decided he didn't want to be adopted. SO frustrating when you know it shouldn't be this way, but are helpless to change minds.

PS 61:1-2
Hear my cry, O God;
Attend to my prayer.
From the end of the earth I will cry to You,
When my heart is overwhelmed;
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

Laurel said...

So so sad. So so sorry. Praying for you all.

I understand grief and sorrow. I am still walking a very tough journey, but clinging to the Lord for His hope and His strength.

love & hugs!

Unknown said...

Loving you friend through this all!! Trusting in His plan for your family and for Grace and Jacob.

Megan said...

I'm so very sorry Jean. Truly, I can't imagine anyone denying you the right to bring home those 2 beautiful children. Praying they're adopted by another loving family. In the meantime, I will pray for them AND for you, as you grieve this loss. Hugs to you all-

Sean and Lisa said...

No words Jean but lots and lots of prayers for your family and for Grace and Jacob.

Shelly said...

Jean, I am heartbroken for you and your family. It is interesting timing for this to happen (or for me to read it anyway) on Good Friday. There was so much heart break on that day... but that wasn't the only thing that was broken. The curtain was also broken so we could have DIRECT access to God! Jesus on this day experienced a truly broken heart when He was separated from the Father. It is comforting to think about a God who can understand heartbreak when we are heart broken. Praying that His mercies will be rich each day and that God will be glorified in this greatly! I think about Joseph who said that what man did to hard, God used for good! I am excited to see how God uses this in your family Jean.

Sammy said...

I've found this to be so, so true!

You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.

Genesis 50:20

Mom Of Many said...

You HAVE fought the good fight. Even in the midst of this tragedy and loss, you have honored Christ.

A verse that comes to mind:

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

I have been praying my precious friend, and will continue that God will give both you and Jim HOPE. The kind of HOPE that does not disappoint - because it is rooted and grounded in Christ, and Him alone. We love you both!!

Jboo said...

Oh Jean -- I am so very sorry to read this news. You and your family and those special children are being lifted in prayer.

Stop to Find the Rosies said...

My heart aches for your beautiful family. I rarely comment on your blog, but LOVE reading all your posts {your Joey is from the same orphanage as three of my sisters}. When I opened up your blog today, I saw the title and knew what it must mean. I've been praying hard for your two little ones waiting in China. While the outcome doesn't make sense, somehow, someway God will make it all work out for HIS glory. Praying for your family during this difficult time.

'And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purposes for them.' Romans 8:28


Wendy said...

I am so sorry Jean. These two little ones deserve to have a family. God does know the plans...He will not bring you to what He cannot bring you through. There will be brighter days....and one day, you will find out the why and how of this and the true reason Jacob and Grace came in your life. Life can be so cruel but it is truly the ignorance of people which make it cruel. Guess what though?......Karma is much stronger and will prevail....and above all else, God is much bigger and much stronger. Right now, it may be hard to see and understand...but He knows and you will know soon. Hugs.

Emily said...

My heart hurts for you. Praying for you all, and Jacob and Grace, too.

Debbie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Julie said...

I am so sorry. </3

Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I breath. Psalm 116:2

Brandy said...

Our hearts and prayers will be with your family as you walk through this tough time. We will pray that the kids have a family soon and that you will know about it!

Kristi said...

Sending our sympathies and prayers to your whole precious family. May you rest in His sovereignty in the days to come. Amos 4:13 He who forms the mountains, creates the wind, and reveals his thoughts to man, he who turns dawn to darkness, and treads the high places of the earth---
the Lord God Almighty is His name.

Unknown said...

Psalm 55:22 Cast your burden on the Lord, and He WILL sustain you. I pray that the hurt you are feeling would be overshadowed by the love that the Lord has for you, for your family and for these two precious children. Only God can fill that painful void and I just pray that you would lean into Him. Sending love and prayers to you and your family. My heart is heavy for you.

Vicky said...

Blessings to you and your family during this time of loss. Yes, it is a loss for what could have been. These kids will forever remain in your heart and I pray that they will find families quickly. I will never understand a system that denies such a wonderful family and the waiting children a life that would be filled with love and happiness.

Praying for all!

~Monica Utt~ Itty Bitty Land said...


(((hugs))) I am crying too. I don't know if it will be of any comfort, but I was listening to Mother Angelica talking about the Stations of The Cross, and she began by talking about a mother's pain, and how the greatest pain is when someone we deeply love is in pain and we are helpless to do anything to stop it. As mothers we know that our children's pain hurts us so much more than any pain of our own. She was talking about the 4th Station and Our Lord looking at His mother and she at Him. She discussed the pain that each felt at not being able to ease the pain of the other. We have all heard the Footprints In The Sand prayer from the 40s, but Jesus's love goes so far beyond that. He loves us so much He feels our pain. He is not just carrying you, He is experiencing this pain with you. I have never met you, and I am sharing your pain too. I am so very sorry. I will offer my Easter Mass up for you and ALL your children, near and far.

Jo's Corner said...

Oh, sweet Friend, I am so sorry that there is so much despair in your heart. It is so difficult for us when things don't turn out the way we plan and long for. I know though, that He is always, always directing our steps. I am believing that this will turn into something good.
I'm praying for you and those children. Much Love, Jo

nancy said...

I am so sorry to read of the loss you are suffering. We know the excitement of waiting for a child and the love felt the moment God gives us the green light to pursue the adoption. Only God knows the end of their story, as He has known if from the your family is left with so many questions and pain, not only from the loss of these children to your family, but from the false and unfair things you indicate have occurred. May God's ultimate plans be seen very soon, and may you be encouraged by His grace, as He comforts and heals all of you. If you've never heard Michael W Smith's song "Sovereign Over Us", it's one that has encouraged me greatly when difficult trials have come to our family. It always bring tears, but they have helped to heal my grief, and it speaks truth to my heart.
Nancy in the Midwest

Sherri said...

I am so sorry. This is a loss you will grieve deeply. Praying God will reach these children with His LOVE...your love and prayers are NEVER in vain. Praying also for your broken hearts. I am often inspired and blessed by your story.

ourchinagirls said...

We have lost a couple of referrals for one reason or another. It is never easy but He has other families these children belong in. Trust in Him. I am sure that both children will find wonderful families. Maybe this is a call for you to adopt an aging out child?

Steph M said...

Oh Jean and Jim, our hearts are breaking for you all....we have prayed for Grace and Jacob so much - and even though this is not the outcome we hoped for, we know that those prayers were not said in vain. I know you know ALL the truths - that the Lord uses all for good, that His plans are better than our plans, that He knew the end of this story before it even began. We will continue to pray for your broken hearts....may the Lord grant you peace. We are so sorry for your loss.

Symasek Family Circus said...

Psalm 27. The whole chapter...
Praying, friend

ZetteLolo said...

I'm so sorry for you, your family, ... and more for these two kids. I pray for better days for your whole family, and will pray in the next days and weeks.

Even if we are waiting for our second child (juste the second...and in France, it's not possible to adopt more than 3 now, just sometimes 3 or 4 if siblings) from China, I'm so happy to see that children have families thanks to families like yours !

With all my frienship and thoughts,

From France,

Mary DeGennaro said...

Jim and Jean, I am so very, very sorry for the grief you are experiencing right now. I was so excited at the prospect of Grace and Jacob coming home to your wonderful family. As it says in Romans 8:18, I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. And also, in Romans 8:28, We know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. I will continue to pray for your grieving hearts in the days to come. Love you!

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